tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post2099307685717862164..comments2023-11-05T01:20:41.116-07:00Comments on gwendomama: Please, Don't Insult Me; I Didn't Ask to Be Here in This Place.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-40894770075145263302009-08-19T18:41:30.584-07:002009-08-19T18:41:30.584-07:00Believe me, it's not your fault for staying. E...Believe me, it's not your fault for staying. Everyone seems to ask, "Why did she stay?" I say, "Why is he abusing her?"<br /><br />Being stuck in the cycle isn't your fault, it's the dynamic of an abusive relationship. There's the build-up, the explosion, and the "honeymoon" period. You didn't want to leave because you were invested, you had a home, a marriage, children. It's not your fault at all, it's his for acting the way he did. It's good that you're out now, for sure, but don't fault yourself for staying. You're one tough cookie, and I LOVE reading your blog.ashley on firehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13890544475149269648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-76137107578408911062009-08-14T19:11:29.666-07:002009-08-14T19:11:29.666-07:00I guess all there is to say is (((((big hugs)))))
...I guess all there is to say is (((((big hugs)))))<br /><br />You are the strongest woman I have EVER met. E.V.E.R.<br /><br />LOVE YOU!!!!I can't find my bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02613321200230079978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-33581775840215560302009-08-08T13:20:57.289-07:002009-08-08T13:20:57.289-07:00A Word To The Wise 4 All Moms!
I have listened to ...A Word To The Wise 4 All Moms!<br />I have listened to doctors, teachers, counselors as well as social workers dish out advice about our children and some of it is well taken, but all must be critically perused and evaluated by us, were the mommies! Who could possible know our children better than we do? <br />Some children have adverse reactions to sugar and some do not, however experts would like to paint all children with the same broad brush. Teenagers having problems in school is a good example. The first direction the experts seem to like to pursue is Attention Deficit. However a wise individual would first pursue the basics such as: Are their marital problems in the home or some type of alcohol or drug abuse? Is the child fighting thru Identity issues such as sexuality? These are just a few of the possibilities that could be causing children problems and us Mommies and Daddy’s need to make sure everything is being addressed before we push it off on a medical condition. I’m not saying we don’t look at everything; however it seems we live in a society that loves to turn directly to medication to solve a problem! Just watch the evening news and I’m sure you will see what I mean. The drug companies are now pursuing us directly to get us to ask our doctors for their drugs! The government likes to preach “Just Say No to Drugs”, and then they pitch them at every opportunity! <br />My 16 year old was being tortured by mean girls via email and was heartbroken. She was having some acne issues as we all did but they were extremely mean to her in nature. It was not easy but I found a site that carries Cyber Bully Alerts warning the children to STOP sending these emails as they are being watched and logged and will be prosecuted. We all know what this kind of meanness can lead to with teen suicides and all. I found the cards at www.hatecards.net and they did the trick! The torture stopped for Sarah and that was good enough for me. We need to find ways to overcome and adapt to protect our kids.<br />We can care for runny noses and chapped bottoms, but we must look out for our babies through high school and educate them to think for themselves until they learn too!<br />Billie<br />At Home Mom in MNAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-89529009391970713952009-08-07T13:23:39.304-07:002009-08-07T13:23:39.304-07:00Holy shit! I've been stuck in my own misery fo...Holy shit! I've been stuck in my own misery for a few weeks now and totally missed this. Gwen, check out my friend Maggie's website, Violence Unsilenced. I think you'll find healing and a great deal of understanding there. You'll find a link near the top of my blog. It has been eye-opening for me to find out how rampant domestic violence exists.Ben and Benniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12165216797183902071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-57504990168823409842009-08-04T01:31:19.322-07:002009-08-04T01:31:19.322-07:00Psycho-ex also used to say he'd off himself if...Psycho-ex also used to say he'd off himself if I left him. In retrospect, I really wish he had. It's hard for kids to live with the fact that their father is an idiot.Rachel Inbarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06605780418673759318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-91238524372031117642009-08-03T14:42:59.313-07:002009-08-03T14:42:59.313-07:00I have you and your kids in my thoughts. You writi...I have you and your kids in my thoughts. You writing is raw, real, beautiful, and sad. Thank you for sharing your story....much love!sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10949207835441980748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-88119937260437354542009-08-03T14:42:58.877-07:002009-08-03T14:42:58.877-07:00I have you and your kids in my thoughts. You writi...I have you and your kids in my thoughts. You writing is raw, real, beautiful, and sad. Thank you for sharing your story....much love!sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10949207835441980748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-10753746894183713402009-08-03T07:43:24.204-07:002009-08-03T07:43:24.204-07:00Well written, Gwendolyn. Describing the abuser an...Well written, Gwendolyn. Describing the abuser and the abused as you have has to be illuminating for those who can't understand how this could have happened. <br /><br />Even not knowing you as a couple, I have felt a deep worry for your family since you wrote about an ignored car problem that put you and the children in great peril.<br /><br />That this step could have been taken a while ago is not the issue. That you have taken it now is and for that you should feel proud of yourself and proud of what you are doing for your children. It may be hard for them to understand now, but they will certainly understand when they are older that it is not right for any victim of domestic abuse to stay quiet for the sake of the family or to protect some random 'friend' who just doesn't want to hear bad news.Linhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06000460026115818932noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-5847359222315182162009-08-02T10:42:44.962-07:002009-08-02T10:42:44.962-07:00Much strength and love to you. I hope you have peo...Much strength and love to you. I hope you have people around you to balance out those that torment you with the "Zen" comments.Lex - @laprimerahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16190385895207863962noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-79641502429716762792009-08-02T05:49:50.256-07:002009-08-02T05:49:50.256-07:00They're charmers. That's why it's so ...They're charmers. That's why it's so hard for the others to believe. Awesome manipulators.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-55746348358236827602009-08-01T21:42:11.352-07:002009-08-01T21:42:11.352-07:00Please keep writing.
I also protected my ex from j...Please keep writing.<br />I also protected my ex from judging eyes (most of all my own).<br />Please keep writing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-73673047400575465592009-08-01T21:22:57.004-07:002009-08-01T21:22:57.004-07:00Before my mom got with her abusive ex his exwife t...Before my mom got with her abusive ex his exwife told her he was a wife beater, my mom said no way and got with him anyway. Three years later we escaped black and blue with ony the clothes on our backs. My mom then told his next girlfriend what he was like she said no way and got together with him- and so it goes!! Hard to believe but true and so sad! Good luck! AimeeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-29737624381375758972009-08-01T19:21:02.206-07:002009-08-01T19:21:02.206-07:00I worked in a shelter for abused women and childre...I worked in a shelter for abused women and children for years. It is extremely common that the abusive partner is well liked and respected by the people who know him. Abuse is about power and control. An abusive partner is extremely adept at being charming to others and fooling them.<br /><br />You are not alone and he is not unique. Unfortunately it just isn't talked about enough....<br /><br />Hugs to you. I hope that the worst is behind you.Rebecca F.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-46527069600151177642009-08-01T17:43:39.774-07:002009-08-01T17:43:39.774-07:00People do not like to believe things that they the...People do not like to believe things that they themselves have not seen. They don't like to be wrong. They like to trust themselves to be perceptive, because admitting that they might be friends with someone who would do something like this is too scary. If they were so wrong about this, what else could they be missing? No, no, no. When I tried to get help as a child from a mother who choked me, locked me in a hot car as punishment, and left me with visible bruises on my arm, no one would believe me because people 'knew' her. It was too dangerous to their own percetions of the world for them to let the idea of this nurse as child abuser into their consciousness. It's disgusting, but try to remember that they are not choosing *him*; they're choosing *themselves*.Astartehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07337583910910454897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-9587718178499107072009-08-01T14:29:43.940-07:002009-08-01T14:29:43.940-07:00Nine years later, there are still people in denial...Nine years later, there are still people in denial and doubt in my life about why I left... Including myself... Maybe I pushed him over that line ? Maybe I was young and immature and acted hastily? *not that I want that life back... just maybe I CAUSED it to happne...<br /><br />Then I read this and you nailed it...really <br />Thank you for reminding me...it was not okay... it was NOT my fault. <br /><br /><br />((hugs)) to you and your children.nopehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18157823676597462102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-32144000382808439112009-08-01T13:43:41.440-07:002009-08-01T13:43:41.440-07:00I wish we would have known more, and could have he...I wish we would have known more, and could have helped you more. But you are doing the right thing in taking a brave and vocal stand, so that others might learn the importance of what not to do. <br /><br />With love,<br /><br />-SShannon Des Roches Rosahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18057806553670980068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-90326661442282393032009-08-01T10:24:37.716-07:002009-08-01T10:24:37.716-07:00hang in there, babe.
You are doing the right thin...hang in there, babe.<br /><br />You are doing the right thing and writing about it helping you and so many others.<br /><br />XOJake Dillonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10787359718879448342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-15924182550445429532009-08-01T06:31:53.100-07:002009-08-01T06:31:53.100-07:00I work in the court system, and we deal with DV pe...I work in the court system, and we deal with DV people all day. Some of them seem like the nicest people and then you read the police reports, or hear what the victim has to say - and it just blows your mind. Zen means shit. Just because people didn't see it doesn't mean it wasn't there. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself and your kids.K Dubshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16860159504793727118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-16948699553804810632009-07-31T22:38:54.514-07:002009-07-31T22:38:54.514-07:00Dearest Gwendo...do you like hugs? Because if you ...Dearest Gwendo...do you like hugs? Because if you do, I offer them, and plenty of them. Mostly, I lurk, even when I completely identify with what you are saying. But today, because I had an Xdude, and because you are such a very strong woman for surviving what you have and because your children are so very lucky to have a mom like you, I wish you peace. And I wish you the understanding and compassion that ought to be awarded you. And, in any and every way, I offer my support/thoughts/well wishes. You are an amazing person, and I am glad to know you, if only through your blog.Jesshttp://jester015.vox.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-60203597863644327832009-07-31T21:32:54.724-07:002009-07-31T21:32:54.724-07:00A surprising number of people prefer to hide their...A surprising number of people prefer to hide their heads in the sand and that ignorance is their bliss. Understandably though, people will try to make sense of such news and wonder if there may be some mistake. My landlord back in Michigan was engaged to a woman in town. I knew her also; She worked at the insurance agency I used for my car insurance. Long story short, she was murdered in her home, stabbed, beaten and raped. I had heard this terrible news on the radio and wondered if my landlord was the killer. I couldn't see it. They thought the world of each other. After a few weeks the killer was caught, her teenage son's best friend. He had been passing by her house just as her fiance was leaving to go home and saw an opportunity. My landlord had been arrested at his place of work the same day of her murder and that was how he learned of her death. I wouldn't wish that hell he went through on anyone.<br /><br />I'm not disputing what you are saying, just pointing out that some people look for other possibilities and reasons for such news. I did wonder if there was a side to him I had not known; that was a thought I left open and was glad to close it when the real killer was captured.Stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13638886019063776059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-34453680982598288332009-07-31T20:46:07.837-07:002009-07-31T20:46:07.837-07:00Ai yi yi. I was pretty sure that you'd been th...Ai yi yi. I was pretty sure that you'd been thinking it was over before The Incident...but I didn't realize all the reasons you stayed. And, I don't think the punishment for what he did is nearly harsh enough. How did it go today?Lunaseahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-84395096119394322882009-07-31T18:13:16.889-07:002009-07-31T18:13:16.889-07:00Hugs hugs hugs. I am glad to have found your blog ...Hugs hugs hugs. I am glad to have found your blog through apraxia. I wish you continued strength. I believe in your ability to persevere.Bluestemhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11671364950809233478noreply@blogger.com