tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post768362597017838066..comments2023-11-05T01:20:41.116-07:00Comments on gwendomama: Time Does Not Heal ALL WoundsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-10222104741025018382010-07-01T21:08:23.846-07:002010-07-01T21:08:23.846-07:00I'm a new reader, directed this way from Notes...I'm a new reader, directed this way from Notes From the Trenches. I've spent the last few days, from 10:00pm to past 1:00am, reading your archives. <br /><br />Every word I've read is like deja vu. I can't tell you how many times I have literally gasped out loud because it was like reading words I had in my head but had no idea I put on paper. <br /><br />I was married to a narcissistic man who talked to me the way Xman talked to you. When I (repeatedly) asked for a divorce, he threatened to kill himself, saying he would "make sure" the kids would know it was my fault. <br /><br />Now that we're actually divorcing - a fifteen month process so far with no end in sight - who is the victim? He is, of course. I ruined his life. None of this is his fault. <br /><br />Anyway - terrible as it is to know that someone else is dealing with this, it is so . . . calming? no. a relief? no. Comforting, perhaps, is the word I am looking for, though that seems wrong somehow too. It is just nice to know I am not alone. <br /><br />When there's a really bad day, I just remind myself - bad by myself is still a million times better than bad with him. <br /><br />Thank you. And good luck.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-35794597336441177892009-11-21T22:00:01.926-08:002009-11-21T22:00:01.926-08:00I'm new here, but it sounds like he has Avoida...I'm new here, but it sounds like he has Avoidant Personality Disorder....everything I have read about it claims there is very little help for someone with AvPD. Even if they want to change they hate themselves so much, they are unable. It is usually accompanied by other mental problems such as depression, or bi-polar disorder.<br />I'm glad you are out, and wish you didn't have to deal with him as a father to your children. I don't want to wish for anything bad to happen to him.....but I do! He's a useless, controlling, self-centered MF, that doesn't deserve to have children or a wife!Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16403491884255559030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-33760716022035089942009-10-17T15:06:54.724-07:002009-10-17T15:06:54.724-07:00G,
As always when I read what that pos did you you...G,<br />As always when I read what that pos did you you I want to drop kick his ass.<br />I am just now learning how to to be afraid or intimidated by my ex. But don't let your guard down. Not even for a minute.<br />Love you.Denisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14046572868809453452noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-86823526903831269522009-10-14T08:44:22.215-07:002009-10-14T08:44:22.215-07:00Hey there Gwen. I found your blog a few weeks ago,...Hey there Gwen. I found your blog a few weeks ago, read and read and read and thought "How awful for her. I have the verbal and emotional abuse, but at least there's no physical abuse. Thank God for that." And then a few days ago, it happened to me. Thank you for speaking out, and making it a little easier for the rest of us.vevicehttp://agorafabulous.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-83317876741767812622009-10-09T13:07:41.036-07:002009-10-09T13:07:41.036-07:00He sounds like someone with borderline personality...He sounds like someone with borderline personality.<br />That would also be my sister.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-40285915900675064782009-10-08T14:26:41.755-07:002009-10-08T14:26:41.755-07:00I am sitting here crying. You just wrote my life ...I am sitting here crying. You just wrote my life with my ex. Who are you? Have you been hiding in my closet? Reading my mind? Did you marry my ex? Do you think if we bond together we can get rid of these bullies?Gladyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04871936987053625828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-47141936885770100712009-10-08T12:03:30.033-07:002009-10-08T12:03:30.033-07:00I left in January 2007 - the abuse wasn't phys...I left in January 2007 - the abuse wasn't physical (at least not yet) but the emtional trauma that he inflicted on me daily (for 10+ years) took alot of therapy and coaching to undo. And while it never got as bad for me as it has for many others, it should never be like this for anyone.<br /><br />My daughter was 7 when I left and she doesn't remember how he treated me (he was very very secretive about destroying everything about me) but she is aware that things are different at his house vs. my house. We share custody (for now) although I may file for full custody in the near future.<br /><br />She often complains that she doesn't want to do her homework at his house because he tells her that she is stupid (5th grade and all A on her report card) and that she doesn't know anything. <br /><br />I try to get all her week's work done on the nights that I have her so she doesn't have to deal with him at all. His gf is equally rigid about everything and often tells my daughter that she doesn't know how to dress correctly and doesn't know how to match her clothing up correctly. Nope, my daughter fancies herself a fashion designer and has more than once told me that she can't be confined to follow the rules of fashion...<br /><br />I just want to make sure her spirit is never smothered.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-67518225862913365312009-10-08T11:14:21.749-07:002009-10-08T11:14:21.749-07:00I am sending you love. I wish I could do more, but...I am sending you love. I wish I could do more, but know that I always am sending love.nakedjenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07792259935365894814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-74594539733549378882009-10-08T00:15:41.234-07:002009-10-08T00:15:41.234-07:00Sending as much love and hugs and virtual chocolat...Sending as much love and hugs and virtual chocolate as I can over the internet.RoseRedHoofbeatshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03785259256890802841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-21035208215150890922009-10-07T17:26:50.942-07:002009-10-07T17:26:50.942-07:00Sorry, Gwendolyn. Let's seriously catch up in...Sorry, Gwendolyn. Let's seriously catch up in person soon. The kids and I would love to make a trip down to you. We'll bring food...and wine!Mama Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08381495916734086130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-89850738228919588972009-10-07T17:12:20.761-07:002009-10-07T17:12:20.761-07:00Three words--Nicole Brown Simpson. Abusers don'...Three words--Nicole Brown Simpson. Abusers don't change, they continue the abuse until they get their way. They are sociopaths. I would protect yourself and your kids at all costs.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-9738541310588644922009-10-07T12:30:55.196-07:002009-10-07T12:30:55.196-07:00@Angie - Thank you for saying that. You are absolu...@Angie - Thank you for saying that. You are absolutely, completely right. Too often, we women get all guilt-ridden, squirrely about letting our abusers continue to have access to the children. After all, they have a parental right, right? And the children shouldn't have to suffer, right? But in reality, the children do suffer by trying to makes heads or tails of the insanity they're too smart not to see while trying to continue the relationship.<br /><br />I was married for 22 years to a man who abused me every which way but physically. That stuff he took out on the walls, the doors, and himself. I won't go into it. Suffice to say he's on gf/wife #3 since we split, and it's only been 5 years. I shudder to think what he may end up doing to the lovely woman who is now his handler. Poor thing.<br /><br />Mine had a fondness for guns and drugs. I had to be the Really Bad Guy for about a year before I was able to get him far enough away from us that I could calm down. And, thank goddess, our children weren't babies when everything came to a head. The youngest was 13 and has turned out far wiser and steadier than the older one who had to live through even more years of the insanity than his brother.<br /><br />I don't know what else to say but to reiterate what Angie said: PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR KIDS! And screw any affect that may have on the POS X.mossumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05252239793254346813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-62446538241351088122009-10-07T11:18:22.283-07:002009-10-07T11:18:22.283-07:00I have written a comment 5 times and deleted it. I...I have written a comment 5 times and deleted it. I only just found your blog today. I read this three times and each time my stomach pitched and rolled. My ex? Is now serving a life sentence. After I divorced him for this very type of thing he did the unspeakable. He got a gf and she did not live to tell her story. Protect yourself and your kids. Demand supervised visitation. Get restraining orders. PROTECT yourself. When your divorce is final do not let your guard down. Abuse is a mental illness. He is sick and don't trust him. Abusers may change but only to find another way to dish out their abuse. Don't be his victim.Angiehttp://www.bigredcouch.com/journal/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-49171828924936900152009-10-06T17:00:24.635-07:002009-10-06T17:00:24.635-07:00I hope you are in the process of divorcing this PO...I hope you are in the process of divorcing this POS. If he is reading this here is a message for him:<br /><br />Hey scumbag, does it make you feel like a man to abuse a woman and destroy children by having them witness the abuse of their own mother? You are a lowlife and nowhere near being a man. You fucking loser.<br /><br />Sorry, but that's what he is.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-4886488985642404102009-10-06T16:05:27.418-07:002009-10-06T16:05:27.418-07:00I have no words. Just so much regret for 'hi...I have no words. Just so much regret for 'his choices'... what he chose to do and for what he continues to choose to believe about himself. It helps no one for him to be in denial.<br /><br />xxSophiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17663682329663202706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-81074569565890399102009-10-06T14:04:42.329-07:002009-10-06T14:04:42.329-07:00I'm so sorry that he is still able to have som...I'm so sorry that he is still able to have some power over you. It's never easy, especially when kids are involved. Continue to stay strong, you'll get through this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16825229.post-50518340632260408872009-10-06T12:42:44.754-07:002009-10-06T12:42:44.754-07:00xoxoxoxoI can't find my bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02613321200230079978noreply@blogger.com