Chocolate Crack

WOOOOOOOHOOOOOO! ~ excuse me, I will be right back ~



WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Wow. Okay, I think I am done for a moment. But THIS? A handful of THE most shockingly pure and sincere chocolate high I have ever had?
It has me all crazy with hard core chocolate goodness. And all warm with love and gratitude for dear, dear, Minnie. Who has captured my heart not just with her radiant pregnant-ness (you just feel grumpy, dear) but also her dedication to chocolate and the many forms in which it can be ingested. And her holiness-by-proxy of living in the vicinity of St. Scharffenberger's Church of Chocolate. And her fondness for nibs.
Oh, the nibs. Nibs are essentially bits of pure roasted cacao beans. I myself splurged on a box of nibs very recently, when they were placed too close to the unbleached cupcake liners at the fancy grocery store for me to refuse. Not sure what I would actually do with the nibs, I warned my family away from them and hid them on the top shelf (why do I hide things that have to do with baking? my family does not know their value or intend to create enough alchemy to find out!).
But when I read what Minnie had done with her nibs I squealed with internet glee and she sent me the recipe:

Carmelized Cocoa Nibs

1 teaspoon unsalted butter
1 1/2 cups nibs
1/2 cup granulated cane sugar

put nibs and sugar in meduium heavy-bottomed pan use high heat and
stir vigorously with wooden spoon. as it cooks it will smoke. when
just a few specks of sugar remain unmelted remove from heat and stir
in butter.

scrape the mixture onto a baking liner or pan lined with parchment
paper. let cool and then devour as you see fit.

And today was the day.
Upon opening the lovely box, the contents revealed a bag labeled, simply: CHOCOLATE. What an understatement!


Because I am cheap, and because my best heavy-bottomed pan is small not medium, and because I was nervous that I would wreck the whole box on the first try, I only made half of this recipe (and used half the box of nibs).
When the nibs started to heat up, the first thing I noticed was the smell, the heavenly smell. It's what Peet's smells like to a coffee lover on a cold rainy day, but the chocolate lover's version.
I did stir vigorously, and did manage not to burn the precious nibs. When it came time to 'remove from heat and stir in butter', I held myself back and did what it said. Which was difficult for me, as I believe in a generous application of butter when baking, but I stuck to my 1/2 tsp (for the 1/2 recipe). Right as I spread the nibs out on my silicone baking sheet to cool, the baby woke up from his nap....otherwise I think I would have spread them out a bit thinner.


This minor problem was solved by placing the 'nib brittle' in a paper bag and gently crushing with Nana's old wooden rolling pin.
Then there was the issue of how to consume the nibs, beyond the obvious method of, well, consuming them.
I decided they would be the perfect topping for my bittersweet tofu mousse. So, if you give a mouse a cookie... I had to make some mousse.




And yes, they are a quite lovely combination.

Sometimes it's not what you were expecting, which is nice.

Supergirl is obsessed with losing her teeth. A few of her friends and classmates have lost their first teeth, and it seems to be all the girl can think about lately. She even declared that she intends to 'be the toothfairy' next year for Halloween. She talks about losing her teeth. She talks about wishing she would lose some teeth. She talks about dreaming that she is losing some teeth. I suppose, like the jump-roping chants she brings home and makes me feel nostalgic, it is one of those childhood rites of passage. One that she cannot wait to claim as her own. So impatient is she, that she has managed to wriggle one less-obstinate lower front tooth into slightly wiggly compliance!
As with many five year old girls, she also is very 'in' to drawing. She drew herself through half a ream of paper when we were in Hawaii; the girl was constantly moving or drawing. Now that the weather has its inclement moments, she has been productive enough to prompt this mama into desperately searching for a portfolio in which to deposit it all (literally, it can cover every surface after a good 2 hour drawing binge).
Combining these two current events, a recent favorite drawing featured a friendly monster with many well articulated teeth.
The drawing was left on the table to be admired, which it was, and during a phone call in which I was distracting a lap-baby, I absent-mindedly let Bubbles color on a piece of paper in front of me. I was just happy that he was not eating the crayon. So I let him go on coloring. On the piece of paper in front of me. That was the backside of the monster picture. But who knew?


Later, Supergirl noticed this.
"Mama. Someone scribbled on the back of my picture."
"Mmmmhmmm, yes well I believe it was Bubbles when he was in my lap. I let him have the crayon." I was ready to get apologetic if I needed to, but I was going to feel this one out to see if I could get off with a mild infraction.
"You mean that was Bubbles? Who drew on my picture? Who made that drawing?"
"Well, technically the back of your picture, but yes. Bubbles."

And then Supergirl turned and crowed at her brother:
"Bubbles! You made a picture with a crayon!! You are such a clever baby! You are the cleverest, best baby, aren't you? Yes you are! You are the little artist baby! What a good little boy!"

And my heart grew. Can you believe it?

Breasts! On A Plane!

Oh.
My.

THIS is something that makes me passionately angry.

A woman was allegedly asked to leave a Delta plane before it took off, because she refused to cover up her 22 month old nursing child with a blanket.

Yes, I am serious.

The Boss of Seattle called Delta to complain and was told by a woman who answered, "Well, she was offered a blanket and refused." At which point The Boss went off on her just a teeny bit and suggested what kind of madness had taken over her brain to assume that a baby wants to be covered up while dining!

Please feel free to write to Delta or call them. I am sure they would love to hear from you!

Miracle Drug

Did you know that if you put a leaf of cabbage (slightly crush the spine with a rolling pin or a bottle of wine which you're going to need because your breasts hurt so bad) inside your bra, it will mysteriously and effectively suck all the mastitis and infection out of your body? I am sure the one dose of antibiotics I took didn't hurt, but come on - one dose? Or one night of wearing cabbage in my bra.
Now I smell a little funny, but I feel like a new woman. With nice jello-like milk-filled breasts. Not hot searing rocks of pain that cause me to wince when someone comes close to them or (ACK!) wants to latch on to them! Unfortunately, Bubbles is not deterred by the cabbagey garnish - I was secretly hoping he would share his mama's aversion to cabbage and that this may provide an opportunity for night weaning. Sigh. It is not to be.

Be a Friend to Leelo

Okay, not too sick to beg you to help...
Please be a friend to Leelo and get his OT center what they NEED for Christmas!
Squid and her family thank you.

Hate. Flu.

Oooowch. Moan.
I think I have the flu, if the aching legs and back and puffy eyes and chills are any indicaton.
I hate the flu. I hate it for more than your average reasons, too. Not just because it SUCKS. Two days before Elijah died, I had the flu. The kind of flu that you dare not go near an already sick baby. The kind of flu where you dare not leave the bathroom and the cold bathroom floor appears inviting. The kind of flu where your hair follicles hurt because they are growing too fast.
In my very real memory, and in my reality, that was one entire day and night that I missed holding him. 48 hours before he died.
So I hate the flu; it makes me depressed and teary. And today, driving past Elijah's beach, I just had a meltdown. Even though Bubbles was in the car.
I hate the flu.

7pm update: the flu appears to be a feverish case of mastitis. which disguises itself as the flu. until the breasts turn into - owww - let's not talk about it, shall we?

Grudge Tuesday: here's one

Birthday Present Watch: Day #55

Yes, it is still a cell phone charger.

Thank you, Amalah for the inspiration, or should I say I totally pinched your dramatic headline. Though you appear to be done with it.

I know this was supposed to be about letting go of the grudge. Shut your gob, it was my idea in the first place so it can be whatever I want it to be.

A short but memorable conversation

"BWAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEKK! NAH NAH NAH! OOOLMPKFDDD BFAAAEAAACK!"

"You know, Mr. Bubbles, you don't need to scream when you want more. You could just ask. Look, at this age your sister could already sign at least 4 words."

"AAAARGKKK! FLRAAAAAAAAAGH!"

No, see that's what I am talking about. Look. Look at me - see, this is the sign for more. Look - watch Mama - see? Just do this! Not screaming!"

"mmmmmmmmmmMOH!"

Oh.
Okay, well, that will also be fine.

A very happy birthday party

Well, the party was a smashing success, if I may say so - as the not even british hostess!
All you who raved about the food? May we all please take a quiet moment to praise costco? Seriously. I do not think I have ever, EVER done such an easy meal that then turned out incredibly, edibly good. And I do mean those two things connected. I have had easier meals, and I have had more delicious meals, but this one was embarrassingly simple for the payoff. How simple?
Well, perhaps if I had not underestimated the amount of frosting and time needed to engineer the horizontal separation and then the frosting and 'decorating' of a vanilla bean cake baked in a giant roasting pan - with a baby on my hip - and then become immensely behind in the rest of the kitchen duties, it may have been a bit more simple. Oy.
But really, previously I have had very lucky potlucks, or very labor intensive food prep on my part. But I sold out completely this time to more pre-made meal assistance than ever in my party history (except for the cake. never the cake.) and had some exquisite additions from friends, and we had a great meal. In my 'how much work did I do and how much fun can I have' hostess kind of review of 'a great meal', of course.
Costco, thank you for the blue cheese pecan dip, which appears to be made primarily out of 4 deliciously high fat ingredients (mayo, sour cream, blue cheese, pecans...you really had to wonder?). Next time I may cave to your processing fees and buy your vegetable tray as well, but TJ's has all the same veggies, but organic. But I forgive you because your pre-marinated turkey breast was perfect with TJ's box-o-stuffing and pretty damn easy to cook, too. Which matters when the cook also wants to make and drink lemon drops. Oh wow. mmmm. I will share my recipe for lemon drops later. And I do have a secret! When I am running out of posting ideas, grudges and love later in November.
Did you know that costco sells gravy?
I had such a great time because the food part was so easy! Thanks to the friends who brought mashed potatoes, bean salad, shrimp platter, cheese and bread, lox...etc...it made the menu that much more varied.
The weather never cleared up enough to dry things out and hang out outside with a fire, and I was terrified of the impact the kids would have on the supergirl's teenytiny bedroom adjacent to our bedroom/family room/full of more toys room (house is small.) - but they were amazingly subdued for hours with a game of stuffed-animal-chucking (and I thought those things were useless), and just when things started to reach critical mass (there were about 12 of them), my dear sainted friend, blessed Juju showed up with her face paints and balloons and took the banshee right out of them!
Bubbles' current favorite foods are the ones I made everyone eat for dinner. His favorite things to do are go to music class with me when I teach, or to rock out on the vast array of instruments we have for him here at home. For the ceremonial singing of the birthday song, I passed out maraca eggs for everyone to sing a 'cha-cha-cha' version. The effect was quite festive.
Bubbles again loved his yummy vanilla cake and was feeling generous enough to share.


After the cake, we had a jam session with kids and adults, which was a dream

come true for our little guy.
He stayed up way past his bedtime.. rockin' out and drumming with the gang, then climbing quietly into his uncle's lap and contentedly watching the rest of us play and dance around him as his eyelids grew heavier and I eventually carried him off to bed. I love that kid.

So, it was a smashing success, as you can see.
My favorite moments?

#2 When at one point I realized that the two parties going on between our house and dh's cabin/office were primarily this: dh's crowing about his great find and his captive audience surrounding his new/old stereo, AND a group of primarily women guests gathered around 'my' computer screen (on the kitchen table) reading the birthday story. ha. kinda funny if you appreciate irony.

#1 My baby feeding me cake.

Must go scrape vanilla beans...

It did occur to me that I could possibly spend the rest of the month blogging about the birthday and the fallout beyond. Ha! Aren't you psyched now?
BUT, I don't have time today.
In about five hours, 20-30 people (who knows? who rsvpees??) are going to descend on my house for a birthday party for the Bubbles. A real 'party party', you know? Did I mention it was raining? Did I mention how small my house is?
Anyway, a party. With adults and alcohol. For a one year old.
And I have to get cooking. Because here is the menu:

Veggies and blue cheese pecan dip

Tijuana trash

Kid food – goldfish, olives, cheese, etc

Caesar salad

Tofu pasta salad

Roasted Turkey breast

Stuffing

Mashed potatoes

Gravy

Juice boxes

Crystal geysers

Beer

Wine

Lemon drops

White cake w/vanilla bean buttercream and raspberries

So I leave you with pictures that were supposed to go with Love Thursday, but Blogger has been having some, er, well, problems.

Later - pictures of cake!