Sunday, December 13, 2009

Things recently uttered in court during which I had to maintain composure and not puke in my mouth:

"I'm not going to pay child support because she keeps threatening to take our kids and move out of this jurisdiction."
(Because that makes sense. And because our children can certainly afford to live here without any child support. And jurisdiction? Because there is no jurisdiction on me...I'm not the convicted one here. And because you told our daughter you could practically SEE OUR HOUSE from yours? And ....ummmm.....)

"I'll be paying almost as much in health care as in child support."
(Last I checked, the county health insurance cards they received because I am at the poverty level were not costing you anything. And if you are paying their health care, it would be the first time, and you should probably look for coverage for their play therapy. Not speech therapy, which is covered by the school district. Which you might have known had you ever attended an IEP.)

"I have a letter from the only witness present which will shed new light on the incident!!"
(#1. Not the only witness; our preschooler was present also. #2. From the witness your sister, who sent me an email admitting that she asked you to hold me down so I would 'stop yelling and listen'. #3.Nobody will stop yelling if you grab and hurt and choke them. #4. New light. On YOUR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CONVICTION. Not mine.)
(By the way, you are way more scary and intimidating now than when you were sorry and you thought what you did was wrong. Was that your intention? Because it seems like you only were sorry until I reported it.)

(Because the statement you yourself gave to the police was a lie? They got it wrong? You didn't actually run into the house to attack me and grab me and put me in a full nelson...twice?) (Shut up about the defensiveness. You look ugly when you blame your victim.)

"My client can no longer afford to pay the child support ordered because he suddenly lost his job."
(Spoken by his attorney. Who is NOT pro-bono.)

"This information is all one-sided!! It's all HER side of the story!!"
(Because the police report which includes both of our statements was provided to the childrens' therapist as impartial evidence so it did not become a 'he-said-she-said' situation? Because the 15 hours of observation, during which you couldn't even pretend to be sorry, led her to write her recommendation that you need therapy and the children need honesty?)

"I put her in a full nelson. Because a half nelson wasn't effective."*

*Legally speaking, this last one was not 'uttered' but it was 'admitted' into court as his direct quote.


fairymama said...

I hate to rip on California, but honestly, it seems it's just a clusterfuck in the Cali-courts. My BIL was killed by a drunk driver in February and his killer is fighting the felony charges, so we still have no closure.

In the same vein, it's obvious what happened to you & the children. I get that they need to be complete in their investigation, but at some point, you deserve closure. To not continue to be victimized. Hopefully the courts fully recognize what a d-bag your soon-to-be-ex is.

I'm really sorry you are going through this. Because really, the rest wasn't enough, eh?

Ben and Bennie said...

I just puked a little in my own mouth.

Lauri said...

Wow - what an absolute waste he is...

Britni TheVadgeWig said...

Have you ever read "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft? If not, I highly, highly recommend it. It is the most amazing book on abusive men I've ever read. I have almost all my clients (I'm a therapist at a center for victims of DV) read it.

He also wrote this, which is really good, too.
Understanding the Batterer in Custody and Visitation Disputes.

He sounds like a terrible waste of a human being, but good for you for being strong enough to fight him.

maplesyrup said...

W.O.W. I am so sorry, Gwen...You are in my thoughts. Love love love is sent your way!

Cindy said...

He suddenly . . . whaaatt???

Jess said...

I'm pretty sure I would have puked a little in my mouth.


Glad Bubbles had a great time with Mickey Mouse

Lunasea said...

Good freakin' lord, man, cry me a fucking river. The good news is, now everyone can hear how ridiculous and sanctimonious he sounds. Bleghghghghg.

MountainMommaSpy said...

Gwen, I had no idea you were going through this. I've been though an 11+ year abusive marriage, divorce, Santa Cruz courts (gag) and much more... if you need an ear just send me an email. - rachel_dysart @ yahoo (dot) com

Anonymous said...



selzach said...

Holy shit. How can anyone be that completely in denial about their actions?

He is scary.

Astarte said...

His will come. When he's old, and sick, and scared, and poor, he will be completely and utterly alone, because his children will want nothing to do with him, and he will die knowing that you, on the other hand, are sitting in a warm living room, surrounded by children and grandchildren who love you.

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