A few years ago we were planning a trip to Hawaii for ten days. This was back in the day of ATA and Aloha Airlines offering competitive $300 round-trip tickets from CA to HI.
In preparation, I bought a litter box for my normally outdoor pottying cat, and arranged for a neighborhood girl to check on and feed her every few days, as it was February and I didn't want to lock her out of the house. Xdude disagreed and we had a little argument about it. Compromise was not his specialty, so I just said I was making the executive decision on this one and the cat would not be left out in the rain or leaky garage with the raccoons and coyotes for 10 days.
As we were leaving for the airport, the litter box was nowhere to be found. I searched the garage, which was the abyss of everything he tossed in there to either hoard or hide. No litter box.
We had to leave. So I reluctantly caved to his insistence that we leave her in the garage (with access to outside) for 10 days.
The end.
Short Story #2:
We had a trampoline, but Bubbles is so fearless and feral that I decided to put netting around it. Xdude did not agree - he insisted that netting makes trampolines more unsafe, as he had seen kids always bouncing off the netting when before they would have stayed in the middle. We argued a little bit about it and then said that, while I appreciated his opinion on that one, I had seen more children fly off of trampolines and was therefore going with netting.
After pricing netting for ours, I found a cheaper deal on Craigslist, so naturally decided to go with that one, as it already had netting and it was 14 feet - a great size for a trampoline if you have the space, and we did. Xdude agreed to go pick it up in his truck, came home and set it up.
"Where is the netting?" I asked.
"They don't need netting." Was the reply.
That was supposed to be the end of it, but I didn't take the cue.
"I bought it because it has netting, and I want the netting up."
"No, you bought it because 14 feet is a great sized trampoline."
"No, I bought it because it has netting, and I want the netting up."
He watched me put the poles in for the netting an begin to unravel the netting. I started to put the vertical poles in, checking out the support arch poles, and realized that I was about 5 poles short.
I confronted him. "Where are the poles? You just picked this up last weekend."
"I don't know. Maybe I left them there by accident. I thought they were all here. The kids don't need netting anyway."
"OH MY GOD YES THEY DO! I cannot believe you would do this - this is about the SAFETY OF OUR KIDS and you did it because you just don't want the netting! You did this on purpose, didn't you! You are such a jerk! HOLYSHIT I cannot believe you!"
"I'm not going to talk to you while you're angry."
The end.
Short Story #3:
I just moved to a great house on a lovely property which has room for - a 14 foot trampoline!! Friends who own the property were excited about bringing it over here, and we all agreed to try and get that netting up. I found the manufacturer and started looking for the poles, then decided to wait til we had moved it and then set it up to see exactly which netting support poles were missing. We brought the trampoline over the other day and waited to set it up until the intensely chaotic move was over. On Sunday I was making the rounds of the property for the last time. After living there for nine years, having moved in while 5 months pregnant with Supergirl, there was a lot to process. (Which is another story and it is not short.)
Having spent the better part of a month slowly wading through the accumulated pile of everything he left behind, and everything our kids have acquired (way too much, let me tell you!), sorting and purging or packing every book and every box of everything, and all of it while nursing a broken arm, it was no small task. I was exhausted on Sunday as I poked around bits of toys, mudpie spatulas sticking out of half-baked goods, sheds. I couldn't wait to get out and have my fresh start in my new house. I wanted to start unpacking. I was so over moving out.
I opened up a water heater shed on the cabin which I never use, and happened to look up. It was stinky and ratty in there. But shoved up above the old water heater was, unmistakably, a brand new (although ratty) litter box, scoop still attached.
:::::::::::blink blink:::::::::::::::
My heart pounded. Really? He had hidden things from me before; it wasn't unbelievable. I have said to people how hard it was to put my finger on his absolute entitlement to and ownership of control of everything. Everything.
But here was a tangible item, however ridiculous.
A litter box.
I rummaged around behind an old pool panel (or was it defunct exercise equipment? your guess....) and found something which looked vaguely familiar. I had just moved something exactly like it. Wow. What a score! Five metal poles for a trampoline.
Safety netting poles.
The end.
31 comments:
Freaky.
Gah!
Mother-of-pearl.
This sounds so familiar- I have goosebumps of rage all over my arms.
Good grief. Congratulations on breaking free and on your shiny new clean start.
This made rage go shooting out of my eyes.
Mother frakker.
So glad you are free of him and his controlling, gaslighting, freaky-scary behavior.
you just sank my jengaship
Wow, just wow... I don't even know how to process that... I am glad you and your kids are starting a calmer life and a new begining!
Lot's of hugs and peacefull thoughts from Canada!
Oh My Lord!!! Sociopath! Total Fuhreak!
That just says so much about him. Oh my god. I am so glad you are out of that relationship... Ha relationship... that wasn't a relationship... it needed respect from him to be that.
xx
You should take pictures of the kids on the trampoline and have them give said pictures to him for Christmas - just make sure the netting is plainly visible...
He's a piece of work, huh? So glad you're starting fresh - you soooo deserve a happy life...
ugh what an asshole.. although since he reads this blog i'm curious as to how he will justify this one to you/the court/who ever will listen..
can't wait to see pictures of the kids enjoying their trampoline!
What a prick.
Oh, for crying out loud. How freaking juvenile! Well, at least you don't have to order new poles...
That is some @#$%&-up control freak shit. Thank god you got rid of him. What an ass!
Hey xdude, God save you from ever, ever meeting my husband and me. And, my dog. You and your sister, too.
Asshole. Go to hell.
He sounds like a lunatic!
Glad to be rid of him.
Too bad his kids have to see him.
But when they are 11 or 12 they can change things and not see him if they choose.
He is a freak.
What Grace said. What a creep.
What. A. DICK.
I am so glad you are not with him anymore. You and the kids deserve so so much more and better.
Congratulations (once again) on your fresh start. So glad it includes a trampoline and safety netting -- and the poles to install that netting.
He really sounds like a seriously mentally ill individual. Glad you are rid of him. What a freakin' creep.
This post popped into my head while I was in the shower this morning. OK, so hiding the cat box was asshole-ish and totally not cool. But willfully hiding parts for the safety netting? WTF? To willfully screw around with the safety of your own kids? And he can't understand why he's only allowed supervised visitation?
I hope you and the kids have a great start to a fantastic new life in your new home and enjoy that trampoline!
I am a nationally certified coach in gymnastics and trampoline (with a competitive background in both), I don't have a trampoline in my backyard at the moment and would never have one without netting, even though I would never allow children on one with out supervision and I am uber-trained in how to spot and prevent injuries. Because you cannot be omnipresent... children push boundaries and I would never want an injury to happen because I thought my training was enough to prevent an accident. I am so relieved that you are putting up the netting.
I don't get him.
*shakes head sadly*
I can only laugh... Send the cat box and scoop as a gift to him. Maybe you can include the cell phone chargers too.
I'm with Miss Grace. I mean, really? You have GOT to be kidding me.
What a great thing that you are (a) away from all the craziness and (b) getting a fresh start.
Sick. Really! I just cracked open my DSM-IV to the section on Personality Disorders. Take your pick: Narcissitic? or maybe Borderline? Go Google and see which fits.
Wow. Just...wow. And more wow. Unfreakingbelievable.
What an ass.
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