Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Thirteen months and twelve days

Today is the day.
The day that Bubbles is older than Elijah.
Ever.

I thought I would have a lot to say about this.
But I do not.

Dh and I discussed this tonight, leading to mildly shocking results.
In that he thinks the time is so different; the time with Elijah is so incomparably different to the time with Bubbles - and there I enthusiastically agreed. Until I realized that he thought it so on the opposite side of my own impressions....
In that I think time is so different; the time with Elijah is so incomparably different than the time here with Bubbles - because he (Bubbles) has developed so fast, achieved so many milestones, it (the time with Bubbles) seems so much longer to me!
I mentioned these details to dh and he was quick to agree...up until the point of it feeling longer.
Can you imagine my surprise when he said it seemed shorter?!
Even when I said the unthinkable (which I am allowed to say), "Even if Bubbles died tomorrow, and then two plus years later we talked about it, you would still think it felt shorter with Bubbles than Elijah?!"
And he said, "Yes, I think so."
Wow.
And for the same reasons. The same, exact reasons that I gave for it feeling longer.

Time is existence, and all existence is time.
What more can I say.

1 comment:

sara said...

I keep looking at that little 0 for comments and thinking I want to say something, but I don't want to spout platitudes or say anything stupid. I'm really sad you lost your little boy, your middle child, the babe of your heart. I wish I had had the opportunity to meet him and smooch his sweet cheeks.