Monday, April 16, 2007

Now I've crossed the line

So, in the world of sex, we have been on hiatus. I use 'we' with some liberty, since dh would probably not want to include himself in on something as official and voluntary sounding as 'hiatus', and might instead use words like 'shut out' or 'deprived'.
Because of his recent memory lapses (the one in which he volunteered to get a vasectomy and but then came up with a 'better' plan and suggested I get an IUD because he 'doesn't want any more kids') (and the one in which he fails to correlate 'sperm' with 'more kids') (and the one which, if I blogged about right now, would send you flying over to my house on your secret girl-broom to beat the crap out of him), I am not feeling very...ummm....amorous?

So, forgive me if I didn't see the humor in his comment as I made some delicious 'anything sound familiar?' smalltalk this morning.

"Funny? You want to hear funny? I was reading the blog of a woman who is living with her in-laws, and while they provide her with pages of great material, I found comfort in knowing that I am not alone in thinking your mother is a little nuts."
"Well, apparently her MIL also thinks it is fine to feed her toddler candy for breakfast, also has laundry issues, and also finds it necessary to put away -lest it be seen - any toy that her child has not touched for two minutes. Hahahahahahahaha (insert my slightly nervous maniacal laughter here)"
"Are you sure that post was not written by YOU?"
"Yes, despite the blood curdling similarities, I am sure. And you can be too, because she also writes alot about pubic waxing and blowjobs. And I don't wax."

wait for it...

"Or give blowjobs."

choose an appropriate response:
1) my my, such memory loss at such an early age.
2) well, no. not anymore, anyway.
3) umm, I was going to say I don't write about blowjobs, but now you've made my priorities more clear.
4) (I'm open for suggestions)

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