Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Thank You, Internet

Yesterday I had six dollars and eleven cents to my name.
I also had two shut-off notices.
I wrote a whiny post about not being able to afford anything anymore - gas, food, and least of all, my daughter's $20 stuff a bear field trip with her Brownie troop....and worrying that when her birthday arrives in three weeks, I will have nothing special for her.

I was defeated, deflated, and sick of my own whining.

I didn't know how I would get to work (gas money), pay the rent, or feed my family next month. I had hoped he would have repaid me by now, or at least have tried. I was deep in the hole and only sinking deeper, in spite of attempts to avoid this quicksand.

I am only one person.
I am full time mother, I am part time father, I am events coordinator, breadwinner and the decider. I am exhausted just trying to tread water. I have been in this cold ocean for over a year. A year ago, I thought it would be better now.
My life is my own, and so that is better.
But my life must be carefully guarded against his (expected) attempts to regain control over me - for once I stepped over that line of friendship to relationship, in his mind, I became his property.

It took one generous, kind and brilliant person, and then another, and about 200 friends, acquaintances, and strangers to remind me that my life is mine. And it is precious.

And we are going to make it.

Supergirl thanks you for Marley's dress and leash.
I thank you for gas money and the smile on her face.
And for doing more for my children than their own father has.
And for the kleenex I purchased after reading all your beautiful comments.

And for restoring my faith in humanity.

You are an amazing community. A year ago I was told to take this blog down.
I am so glad I didn't listen to anyone but my heart.

Thank you.


beachbabe said...

You're welcome... glad I could help. Also? You should look into self defense classes for yourself. Some places offer inexpensive or free classes to low income women in situations like yours. Cause nothin' will leave him more speechless and feeling like less of a man than when you pummel his ass next time he tries to restrain you... just sayin'...

Jennifer said...

You've tagged this post with "lucky", but it should be "deserved". Seeing that clothed bear brought tears to my eyes. You are an amazing person.

Anonymous said...

That clothed bear is the greatest thing I've seen all day.

Sophie said...

That is so awesome. Look at the expression on her face. Just beautiful. :)

Anonymous said...

Beautiful. Just beautiful!

Zoeyjane said...

I'm just happy that some thing's working out the way that it should. Even if it meant Internet people stepped in. Because, frankly, Internet people are the best. I'm glad today is sunnier.

Lucie Knight said...

Glad you feel better. Sometimes my "invisible" friends are better than my "real" friends.

Good luck and love the blog

Sarah said...

Here's to Marley being the best dressed on the block!

Here's to you for letting others help you when you need it!

Cheers all around!

Amanda J said...

That picture made my day. :)

Anonymous said...
If you want to share an address with me and sizes you and daughter wear, I would like to send you some things, school is close at hand and I have access to some really good bargains! All new stuff! favorite colors too!
your friends,
susan , jaime and natalie said...

So glad that everyone stepped it up in words and money and care. I have your email now, so I hope to be passing it onto some other sponsors.

Also, I look for giveaways with low numbers and enter those like crazy. I got lots of things for the kids' Christmas last year. It was a rough one, but they still had presents to open.

Anonymous said...

google joyce meyer and check into her daily message....she gives all women great imspiration...
we are directed by our God to take care of each other in this life.
There are days she lifts me up and I keep going......we Moms just have too and all help is good even a message can mean so much as if effects the way I think which effects the way I act and my family benefits as well as I. Just listen one time, a friend shared this with me never knowing how much strength I would get for many years.

The Altman Family said...

Your daughter's smile brought tears to my eyes. Couldn't ask for a better thank you than that! Here's to many more happy days!!

Mari said...

I don't have much cash, but I do have many brand-new earrings that my family insists on buying my little tomboy.

If you could use them, let me know where to send them.

(mariellenrich at gmail dot com)

Tuesday Girl said...

So happy that dog now has clothes!
Happy to help what little I could.
So very proud you chose your kids over a man, many women don't and it is has devestating results. Good for you.

Kate Giovinco Photography said...

This post gave me goosebumps. She is too sweet and the smile on her face is amazing and well deserved!

You are a good mama and it reflects in her smile.

Yay for a great day with her friends.

Morgana said...

I'm glad I could contribute a little. The fact that you asked shows how very much you love your children. I know how hard it is to ask for, and receive, help. Thank you for sharing that beautiful photo with us - it made my entire week!

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