I wanted very much to come back full of descriptive stories about how we relaxed and played and were reminded daily what a wonderful family we have, and I truly do have much to share.
But I came home to some very sad news, which is far more important. And has left me without words (or sleep) for the past days.
My dear, sweet cousin from Philly, a single mom of a ten year old daughter and a four year old son, went into the hospital about ten days ago. She was dx with pneumonia in the ER, and, because of some pain and suspected inflammation, she was then taken to surgery to remove her gall bladder. Which turned out to not be 'that bad'.
Let's review: surgery while she had pneumonia.
When they went to extubate her, she 'crashed'.
She was on a ventilator in a comatose state for about a week.
She had MRSA and septic shock. Her kidneys began to fail. She was put on ECMO for three days, and when she was taken off of the life support, she beat the odds of her 3% chance for survival and lived.
But she is still on a ventilator. She is still in a coma, non-communicative. Her most recent EEG was 'inconclusive'.
At this point, although she has beat many odds, I was just told that she 'is not expected' to live. I can barely write those words, as I can only picture her beautiful face, and those of her children. And my children don't understand why I keep tearing up.
I find myself praying, muttering, begging that one more person in my family will not have to know the pain of losing a child.
And I don't even know who I am praying to.
If you believe in miracles, please please please, hope for one now.