Monday, December 29, 2008

Dromedary Desperado


You know that camel with all that shit on its back? The great big pile of crap on top and the camel staggers along and some village idiot tosses a straw on the camel's back because entertainment is hard to come by in the desert I suppose, and *SPLAT* the camel just splays out (I imagine this part) on the ground, all brokeny back because of that one last damn straw.
That camel? Has nothing on my freaking camel.

My camel is carrying not only a load of crap on it's back, but also another camel. With crap on it's back. A Big Load of It.

So you would never guess, after surviving a blessed Christmas holiday practically pulled out of your ass, and doling out generosity in the form of near human sacrifice (how much did you spend mailing things this year?) - all amidst a stark grey backdrop called my personal life - that the people trying to toss straws on your camel on your camel, would be your family.

Then again, maybe you would.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and hoping your camel can dump some of its load. -Anita R.

Mama Deb said...

Ahh, yes, GwendoMamaSan. I know that which you speak of all too well.

I say we MUST get thee (and me) to a night of commiserating. And I promise that this time I will not have a garage sale beforehand so that I will be able to communicate in more words than 'that's funny' (which is all I said that night...did you notice??!), and will be able to stay awake past 11 pm.

For the Long Haul said...

I so hear that. It is amazing how much damage family members can do.

I am wishing you strength and the love of strangers to help you through this rough time. Your words always touch me greatly.

Hugs to you and the children.

Rachel Inbar said...

I hope you have people you can talk to... Feel free to email me. I got through a really rough time with the support of friends. It surprised me how much people who barely knew me could help.

Vodka Mom said...

I think my camel can kick your camel's ass.

Deb on the Rocks said...

We need to form a pack of wandering doubledecker camel assassins to remove the plague of camels from our land. I'm in

furiousBall said...

did you know that male camels have 4 foot long weiners? not really, but still

Julia said...

I am in a fighting mood these days. If you care to point me in the right direction, I offer to kick much ass for you. Especially if the words "can't help" and "spared" were uttered. AGAIN.

Cindy said...

I know there may always be people piling straw on, but there's a bunch of us who would gladly take off a few handfuls for you.

Missed the post you linked when I was on my vacation last summer and so didn't see it until now. As much as you know I like rose-colored glasses, I like you without them because that's you, one of the most honest people I know.

Hang in there. Find your own family.

MFA Mama said...

Ugh. My friend The Lovely Dawn was saying "It's not Christmas until you've made your mother cry." And I said "huh, y'know, you're right...no, wait...you're not...I didn't make my mother cry the Christmases when I didn't CALL her to BEGIN with."

Heh.

Tracey said...

So sorry, Gwen. No advice, just a cyber hug and a hope that things are less stressful soon...

Lunasea said...

I'm sorry people are so clueless. And I'm sorry your family isn't there when you need them the most. You can borrow mine if you want. They're pretty cool, at least the ones I hang with.

RoseRedHoofbeats said...

I have the most tactless thing to ask you. Well, okay, not as tactless as your *cough*idiot family members*cough* previous example, but tactless by my well bred standards.

I have an online friend who I know sort of well- we IM all the time and have talked on the phone before. Her baby had a forty-five minute grand mal seizure, and at the hospital they found a mass in her brain.
I am PRETTY sure that I figured out which hospital she is staying at (narrowed it down to two, anyway, yay Google-fu). She has an autistic daughter as well. (There's a suckiness trifecta if I ever heard one.)
I am dying to do something- send her money, toys for the kids to play with, a card, flowers, food, clothes, anything- but I don't know if it would be creepy to be all, "Hey, I used my clever reasoning skills and process of elimination to learn your family's full name and your address and such, HAVE SOME FREE STUFF."
I mean, we DO know each other well and are close, so I don't know... I just can't stand the thought of her being there all alone, she doesn't have any family in the area and they had to go a few towns over to the bigger hospital, so none of her friends are there... no one should have to think their baby might have brain cancer, for heaven's sake and they certainly shouldn't have to do it alone with an autistic child old in tow. And on New Year's Eve! Her kids have already been hospitalized this year and she was just saying to me the other day all she wants for 2009 is no more hospitals... I feel awful for her.

Anyway. Waaaay TL;DR, but do you think it would be okay for me to send her something, or to try and call the hospital to talk to her and ask?

gwendomama said...

RoseRed - Do I have your email to respond? Please email me anytime gwendomama (at) gmail(blah) com - - we may should chat even.

I do DEFINITELY think that you should absolutely help her - do you think it would be out of line to just ask her to confirm the hospital - to ask and say you wanted to send some good wishes to her and send it to the hospital? I doubt she would be offended by such a demonstration. Also keep in mind that when I was in a hospital for 6 wks while pregnant, packages that were sent to me were NOT at all on time...they were weeks late. You may want to call the hospital to ask what route is as direct as a floral delivery - they will know!!

g

jennyalice said...

I'll let you borrow my emotional wagon.. please email if you want. I am constantly balancing what people meant to say versus what they actually said. It is extremely tedious and emotionally loaded when translating my own family (like when they ask if Jake is "better"... 'cause last time I checked, he's not sick.. he just has autism okay and a touch of CP, but still he's not sick!) hugs to you.

Ginn said...

Linking back, I can agree whole-heartedly. "How are you" is not really a question I can answer easily. What I want to say is "Weeellll since my mom offed herself 15 months ago, I'm not doing so hot, since I'm going crazy, meeting Dad's new girlfriends, trying new meds for my new issues, and dealing with crazy stalker issues..." but what we HAVE to say (so we don't bring the party down) is "FINE! GREAT! HOW ARE YOUUUU?"

Which is why it's easier to stay at home and watch Grey's Anatomy and get teary because I can relate to Meredith's scripted depressing life.

You, the camel and I should meet up for massages. I hope you feel a bit better soon.

Denise said...

Fuckin camel, I know that camel well.