Tuesday, May 06, 2008

He was warned about the BLOGGING of this...

When HE sleeps in:
  • He had a deadline; had to work all night. End of discussion.
  • I get up, tell the school-aged one to get dressed.
  • I go downstairs to make her breakfast.
  • Bubbles joins us for breakfast after a diaper change
  • Supergirl gets detangler sprayed in her hair while she eats
  • Then brushes
  • Then out the door
  • Backpack, lunch, baby
  • Strap baby into carseat for quick ride to school
  • Drop off Supergirl
  • Come back home, more breakfast, playing, careful to keep Bubbles from jumping on Daddy's head.
  • Daddy gets up around 11:00 and
  • Pisses Mama off by getting immediately in the shower (even if I have been playing for 4 hours and waiting for a shower break).

When I sleep in:

  • I have to work that day; I have to teach and dance and sing for hours, (nobody cares)
  • Bubbles has been chewing on me nursing since 6am, could I please get some sleeeeeeeeeeeep?
  • Whining that sentiment from under the pillow may get the Daddy up, but without fail, he gets up LOUDLY and GRUMPILY,
  • Yells at Supergirl for choosing the wrong outfit, the wrong length of sleeves, the wrong shoes...
  • Makes the fatal error of asking her what she wants for breakfast instead of just preparing it..
  • Yells at Supergirl for not telling him quickly enough what she wants to eat.
  • Leaves Bubbles upstairs to jump on my head,
  • Yells at Bubbles to STOP JUMPING ON MAMA'S HEAD. (not effectively)
  • Daddy TAKES Supergirl to school while leaving Bubbles home upstairs with me, with the gate out of the bedroom WIDE OPEN while I am 'sleeping in'...
  • And when he comes home, he does not even stop to see how the Bubbles is faring (you know, while it is his Mama's turn to 'sleep in') but instead goes directly to his office next door,
  • Which is where he can be found when Mama fully wakes up and realizes that she has been (kind of) sleeping in a house that is completely unsecured and in which HER TWO YEAR OLD has been awake and completely unsupervised .
  • Mama then screams about how THIS SUCKS and HE (her husband, not 2 yr old)SUCKS and HE IS SELFISH.
  • And the next day, the Daddy sleeps in.
  • And for the rest of the week, the Daddy sleeps in.

Which is all true.


Anonymous said...

Oh good, I'm not the only one whose house totally falls apart if I am anything less than totally involved...

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I died or got really sick, and the thought scares me.

Cindy said...

Give him a little kick in the ass for me, ok? And tell him I said hi.

chris said...

Are you in my house?

I don't even try to sleep in anymore, it is too stressful and brings me to the brink of homicide.

MaryP said...

Sounds like my first marriage. (First, former, all-done, thank-god-it's-over marriage. Would this possibility be a threat or a reward?)

But one day -- ONE DAY! -- your chidren will be teens, and they will sleep! Oh, how they'll sleep in. Your day will come.

Life Junkie said...

I'm typing this while my husband is sleeping in! Got the kids dressed, breakfast fed (kids & dog), lunches packed, let the dog out, and drove them to school (not the dog). I'm back at home to do a few loads of laundry and yesterday's dishes and am then heading into work. He'll probably still be sleeping....

I SO feel your pain!

mamadaisy said...

oh my holy hell, you've been to my house, have you? and you know it's not because he's lazy and uninvolved, it's because you're a nagging bitch, right?

(at least, that's what i'm told.)

Tricia said...

Damn woman.

Is there a couch in the Daddy's office? Maybe you could quick lock yourself in there yelling neener, neener, neener!

Shannon and Carey said...

ugh. MEN!
Can't live with em
Can't live with em.