One incredibly complacent and patient cat
Access to big sister's wall decorations
9:58 AM BOS: kate told me that she gets term papers with emoticons and
OMG's and shit like that
9:59 AM me: no
BOS: yes she had to find out what lol meant and then tell said
student that they needed to write the WHOLE word
10:00 AM and no rotating hearts or happy faces for reals
so fucking funny
10:01 AM then after a little light hearted convo last eve she said
something like this " so change of subject, do you mind? How do I stick my
fingers in Eliot's ass? I mean I try but I just don't really know how to
10:02 AM any advice? I was busy peeing my pants so I couldn't give
her any advice then she said she had a couple of butt plugs she had never
10:03 AM I suggested she brim them out on a tray with dessert and say
something like "cake? and by the way how Do you use these things?
10:04 AM me: what? what?
BOS: fucking hysterical read it again
me: who is eliot and why fingers in the ass?
BOS: for real that was our conversation
10:05 AM her boyfriend who has erectile dysfunction i guess a
finger in the ass helps keep it up
me: yes so i have heard nice wish i had met her when i was
10:06 AM BOS: I had to stick a dish towel in my pants cause I was laughing
so hard I peed my pants and couldn't make it to the bathroom kitchen to
bath is a long way when midstream.
Moving right along....(no good segue for the chelada)...the place turned out to be great. With the wind and the heat and the abundance of
chilled alcoholic beverages water, we started calling it 'Fauxwaii'. There was one large pool for playing and swimming, then five other good-sized warmer pools (hot springs), and two more hot tubs. The best part? The pools are open 24 hours! Being a desert, and being a hot spring...this is a very considerate policy. Our room opened directly onto the pool courtyard, so after the babes fell asleep, we were actually able to slip out and soak in the pool right in front of our room.On mother's day, the place cleared out and we had it to ourselves. The management slipped a special offer under our door to extend our stay at 40% off the regular rate, and it was an offer too good to refuse. So I cancelled our intended return/ last night at teletubby land and we stayed at the mineral springs. For another night. And then just one more. It was that awesome.
We went to a sweet little zoo in Palm Springs which turned out to be the perfect attraction for our children. Bubbles went absolutely mental over the one acre train display.
He finally even got the fact that we meant it when we said that he could not ride it or climb in there.
It was all fine, because just around the bend we saw giraffes!
Some fabulous zebra ass.
and giant ostriches (is that a redundant use of an adjective?) which
scared the crap out of inspired awe within both of my kids!
I got a nervous laugh out of a few zoo guests when I yelled, "Where is the cheetah? OHGOD HAS ANYONE SEEN THE CHEETAH?" and then prattled on about how one could never be Too Careful around Big Cats. And then, just in case the three people who dared to remain standing within crazy-distance of me were still listening, I had to say it.
Because I just don't know when to quit. "Well, let's not forget Christmas Day at the San Francisco Zoo!!!"
Let that be a lesson to all of you, and no, I never did see the damn cheetah. Which, frankly, made me nervous for the rest of the visit.
But we did see these crazy birds. One of them just walked around picking up rocks and then dropping the rock when she found a 'better' rock. It was inordinately funny.
Even better than the zebra butts and gargantuan attack snakes,
was...the freakishly phallic Joshua Tree National Park!
Dude. Seriously. The place was so XXX, and in plain view of the children!
We drove up in the late afternoon, but it was still about a million degrees in the sun, so we romped around for about thirty minutes and then the babes were ready for A Snack. While they were eating their snack, I took a little
I was surprised to see this:
But then I saw this:
AND THEN? I noticed these. You couldn't really help but notice those.
But just when you thought nature could not possibly get any! more! happy!
ALL inappropriate! ALL typed to you with ONE LESS FINGER than last eek. (heh)
BUT I have had a few interruptions in the process of writing one single effing post about phallic trees and refreshing beverages which induce the gag reflex.
Not only is mail delivery damn exciting on our little mountain, but it seemed like a good opportunity for learning a new word.
Always trying to improve our little guy's vocabulary. Now he can get a job at Home Depoo and hang out with the guys.
The whole two birds/one stone thing.
When I sleep in:
Which is all true.