Friday, March 12, 2010

Sigh: 11 months later, he still believes that choking me wasn't violent

RESPONDENT: I wasn't permitted by law to be at that residence or to remove my belongings at that time.
JUDGE: Because of your conduct which led to the CLETS order. Am I getting that wrong?
RESPONDENT: Yes, you are.
JUDGE: You didn't get arrested and convicted?
RESPONDENT: No. I was not convicted of a domestic violence*. I pled no contest to disturbing the peace.
JUDGE:You are on formal probation?
JUDGE: Domestic violence counseling?
JUDGE: A 52- week program.
JUDGE: You are on three years formal probation?
JUDGE: That's conviction, sir.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think those mandatory DV classes are actually working.

*Blatant boldfaced, self-convinced lie.


Miss Grace said...

How did it go asides from that?

Astarte said...

Hahahahahahaha!!!! That judge is awesome! You've got to think that s/he hears that all the freakin' time from idiots like him, and I just LOVE how s/he gave it right back to him!!!!! Ha!

Anonymous said...

Oh how the judge must have wanted to say, "That's conviction, DUMBASS" instead of "sir."

Just Breathe said...

That is unbelievable. Sounds like an awesome judge!

furiousBall said...

did the beginning of the word start with con?
and the end of the word was viction?

maplesyrup said...

W.O.W. There is this little, rare, self-help book out called "Asshole No More." Really, I'm not joking!
BTW, my word verification below is "rantive"....thought that was funny.

Evie_Edlund said...

Can you have those words engraved?

"That's conviction, sir."

BaltimoreGal said...

I'm in love with your judge. We need more like that in Baltimore-

Catherine said...

I like your judge.

We have a judge that we have been visiting for the last three and a half years in order to get the kids' mom to pay child support. The last time we went to court in person and she appeared via telephone. The judge asked if she paid her bills she replied yes. The judge asked what she paid for over the last three weeks. She started rambling off about her cell phone and other stuff. The judge goes...Mrs L. How much is your cell phone bill. Her response was $120 a month. OK and Mrs L how much is your internet bill? her response was $80 a month. The judge responded. "So what your telling me Mrs L is that you spend approx $200 per month on items that are not necessities and yet you cannot pay the $150 a month you are court ordered to pay for your two children" her response was "Well those bills are much more important that the child support" The judge responded "Mrs L.... Your children are the most important bill you have in your life you must pay your child support" Her response " Paying their father child support doesn't give me access to a phone or internet" The judges response "OK Mrs L, remember that when you ask for additional parenting time again. At this point we are just going to say there is now a $5000 purge warrant out for your arrest and I hope you enjoy that cell phone and internet access prior to your arrest."

I tell ya that woman still has not paid her child support. Next week the Judge is going to take away her license and who know's what else. But at least she's enjoying that cell phone and internet!!!

office said...

The Tax Return Crack-Up<4>
Realizing he might have dug himself in there,Microsoft Office 2010the general emphasized that Office 2010he had spent some time as a junior Office 2007officer working "very closely Microsoft Officewith the Israeli air force" and that heMicrosoft Office 2007had found that "more cosmopolitan,Office 2007 key liberal version of the Israeli population" Office 2007 downloadto be just chock full Office 2007 Professionalof that sort of "goodwill" necessary Windows 7to give a bunch of land back Microsoft outlook 2010to the Palestinians.