So, the school psych (who has never met my child in person, ever) and the principal (also superintendent) sent me to observe a preschool which they thought perhaps, may be perfect for my son. Perfect, why?
Perfect because this is (apparently) a preschool for children with communication disorders. I wasn't fooling myself, I knew what realm of behaviors that could imply. But I was hoping it really could offer more than something I had ever seen. It would have to be that good, because I love the preschool Bubbles has been attending since September, and his language has improved impressively in that time.
The school I visited might be an appropriate school for children on the spectrum. With communication issues, such as: using your body to hurl at someone instead of your words to ask for a turn. Not so much on the language issues.
I spent two hours there, and it seems to me that the teachers needed to spend an inordinate amount of time deflecting aggressive behaviors between the students, which leads me to believe that very little teaching can happen. I also did not observe any positive re-enforcers for positive language skills, and this would be a drastic transition for my little guy.
I do believe that this would be great place for my child to learn unacceptable behaviors more than appropriate articulation, which is why I do not wish to send him there. To remove him from his inclusive preschool environment in which he is successful and has attentive teachers, to put him into a special education classroom would not be a step forward.
However, when I stepped into the parking lot of the preschool to discuss this issue with the resource teacher from our school who had joined me on the site visit, she told me a little story of some previous student of hers whose parents would just not listen to the words 'special day class' and the 'severe nature of his deficits', and suggested that I 'sleep on it'. 'It', presumably being, the experience.
So after I 'slept on it' I woke up with swollen eyes from crying all night and feeling REALLY PISSED OFF ABOUT EVERYTHING. And, I had a wedding to attend. With very puffy eyes. Which made everyone else jealous, because they thought I was baked. (The wedding was in Berkeley.) But then the wedding was so damn touching that my puffy eyes looked right in place pretty soon.
ANYway, there is much more to this, of course.
But I have been rather emotionally pre-occupied, and a teensy bit sad, and feeling very alone in this struggle.