Sunday, October 18, 2009

All I want for my birthday is some heat, please.

Bubbles just told me that his birthday plans have changed. I mean sure, we have been waffling between pirate hunt and safari hunt for the time killing events theme of the party, but there's more to it than that.

He realized today, while putting away his piles of toys in baskets and on shelves, that what he really wants, are:

  • A bag of groceries, non-specific.
  • Enough cash to throw a party for his 8 favorite preschool friends.
  • Five lbs of nitrite-free bacon.
  • Five gallons of organic whole milk.
  • One case of Ovaltine, Malt or Chocolate flavor, please.
  • Sensitive skin shampoo and body wash, Aveeno please.
  • One full case of cereal. Low sugar, please.
  • Electricity: to heat his bathwater, allow him to practice his new 'mouse skillz', cook his meals, and let him jam out on the keyboard.
  • New tires for the car which drives him to preschool.
  • A winter jacket, size 4.

This is dedicated to the dad who reads this and pretends that being a dad is all about bribing buying his kids toys. And avoiding, at all costs, paying to support his children.


Deb said...

So so sorry. That dynamic ended up really hurting my kids realtionship with their dad, because they caught on to the game behind it. I hope he wises up, for everyone's sake.

Anita said...

Dude.... time to step up.

Headless Mom said...


(I've been checking in but not commenting. Love you, Lady G! xoxo)

MFA Mama said...

Personally as someone not involved I think it would look MUCH BETTER to the judge if he showed some concern for the practical, day-to-day wellbeing of the children as opposed to manipulative material bribery. It might take the kids a while to see through that b.s. but a judge? No. His refusal to support his children's most basic needs through voluntarily paying some child support or even gifting them with things you couldn't sell if you were the type to do so (such as bags of groceries, Huggies Overnights, etc.) is going to say to any judge LOUD AND CLEAR that he's less of a parent and more of a much older adopted sibling-figure. Last I checked, those didn't get unsupervised visitation. Which given Xman's state of mind is probably a good thing but if he ever DOES get his act together he's making it that much harder for himself if he wants to get weekends/summer weeks as many non-custodial parents do.

So really by not providing for his children's needs (as opposed to their material wants) he's doing them a favor (although not one that is easy for you or them), because he seems totally toxic. In fact, I'm starting to wonder if he's just too chickenshit to come right out and SAY he doesn't want to be in their lives, because based on his actions rather than his words he has no interest in parenting these children.

Maybe he just doesn't have the stones to tell his family that, since they seem to want a relationship with the kids and know YOU'LL only allow it if they get THEIR acts together. Of course, from the sound of her, he might be right to fear his sister.

Lauri said...

To the ex -

You Suck.

Squid said...

Here's hoping for an epiphany that being a dad means taking care of your kids' basic needs first and foremost.

Magpie said...

Fucked up. I would like to offer to help, but I don't want that to allow him to abrogate his responsibility.

Miss Grace said...

Re: winter jacket, I have a pretty sizey 3t that I was gonna donate, do you wanna try it on bubbles?
Also, I've seen some good ones @ thrift stores.

Denise said...

He is not paying child support at all? Neither is my ex! Men suck ass.

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