Monday, October 17, 2005

Hormonal monkey dreams

I truly have run out of things to worry about. My brain is awash. I have almost made it through the full moon without yet giving birth, in spite of the many many contractions. I took a nap and had a dream that involved the scary flying monkeys and grace singing 'send in the clowns' on local TV. Not at the same time. But very scary stuff. Hormone dreams.
Anyway, in lieu of having real things to worry about, I am now sure that Bubbles is breech. The likelihood of this being true is...well...let's give it 30%. Because as we know, melonhead is pretty darn big to be practicing acrobatic tricks anymore. Even today at costco, two of the sample sharing ladies got into an argument over how big my baby is estimated to be.
SSL#1: You due soon, honey. That baby about six pounds?
Me: Yep. Right least that's what we think he was last week.
SSL#2: NoWAY that baby's six pounds, honey. That there is an eight pounder!! Mmhmm, I KNOW my babies, cause I had a fiver and a twelve pounder! You better hope he's comin out SOON, honey!
Me: Okay. Don't you even START talking to me about any TWELVE POUND BABIES. Because I don't want to hear it!
SSL#1: You gonna bring that baby back in here and show us, sweetie!
Me: I'll bring him in but you tell her to stop talking about TWELVE POUND BABIES. I have a weak heart. I can't take it.
SSL#1 and SSL#2 : snort, chuckle, guffaw.

So why am I so sure he is breech? Because when we stopped at the pumpkin patch to get supergirl an overgrown orange halloween squash, I had the most severe sensation that he was KICKING me in the cervix again, as he was when he was breech a few weeks ago. And where his butt had been, seemed more like a round little head pressing into my ribs. Oh, I certainly hope that I am wrong, and just cannot tell his butt from his head. (hopefully this flaw of mine will not last too much longer after he is born)
But unless he has his hands thrown over his head and is POKING me, then that was definitely a heel. Wedging into my cervix. Feel my pain.
I have been wishing for hiccups all night, because that is when I can usually tell where he is. But do you think he will hiccup on command? He will not. I think I need to try and go to sleep, or at least pretend that is my intention, because then he will surely begin to hiccup and attempt to keep me awake!
But sleep doesn't even sound that appealing when it involves flying monkey potential. I hope Grace sings to me again. That would be better.

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