Friday, October 21, 2005

Non-sequitur

  • I am hugely pregnant and have been in labor on and off now for four days. Make that five.
  • Dear friend Heidi called me from where she is tripping in NYC this morning (this is why I have not yet given birth. I want her there to egg me on or chide me as I curse everyone around me. Come home, Heidi!) with this little story: Her 3 yr old son would not get his shoes on, in spite of being asked at least 22 times to do so. Finally she said, "Henry! Quit being such an asshole and GET YOUR SHOES ON!" Henry replied,"That is not an effective way to get me to do anything. Mom." Did I mention that I LOVE them?
  • I don't mind talking about bodily functions or using anatomically correct words. Supergirl knows that she has a vagina, and that her brother will be coming out of mine sometime soon. I don't mind talking about poop; mine or yours. But one thing I am trying to get over my squeamishness about is this: mucus plug. You know. Cervical snot. THAT is gross. And mine is coming out little by little, thus proving to me that I DO have one that is slowly dissintegrating with each contraction. That thing stayed hidden from me the first two times but is now showing up. WTF? Does this mean that my water will break this time too, and force me to daintily step over my own puddle in Trader Joe's, or the preschool in the near future? Oh, the humiliation.
  • As much as I don't mind sharing poo details, I am terribly afraid of pooing on my OB while pushing out melonhead. Because she is such a good friend, this seems worse. If we were not good friends, I wouldn't worry about such matters. But forever more, she can say to me, " remember that time you took a shit on me?!" She assures me that I didn't the first two times, but my other birthing friends assure me that I cannot get away with that THREE times. I don't mind her stitching up my hoo-ha, but who wants to defecate on the one you love?
  • I have given birth to two of the cutest children in the universe, and am slightly concerned for the high standard of expectation for Bubbles to meet.
  • Could you possibly disagree with me? That is Elijah. The one who died and I miss terribly. And of course, Supergirl. The one who kept me alive.
  • I have to pee every 90 minutes. Or 30.
  • I cannot wait to have breasts again. Oh, lactation!!
  • Supergirl asked why 'those' are called 'breasts'. I answered, "because 'knees' and 'elbows' were already taken."

7 comments:

Emily said...

Elijah looks beautiful in those pictures. He has the same look on his face that my little sister used to have as a baby, that sort of stare that seems to be storing up information in the cutest way possible.

vixanne wigg said...

They really are both incredibly beautiful kids.

ali said...

it's good to see that big tummy!!!

and those beautiful babies :)

I'm cheering for ya!!

Jen said...

Wow, those are beautiful children! Wishing you the best of luck and hoping you make it till your friend is back from NYC. Take care

Alison McCabe said...

Gwendolyn, I never had the pleasure to meet Elijah. He was truly a beautiful and magical child! Supergirl is pretty cute too. Thinking of you each day now and wondering when Bubbles will be here. Glad you have found something inane to focus on, like your issues with "mucus plug". Congratulations! Love, Alison

Anonymous said...

Your children are beautiful. I just found your blog and it is wonderful. I realize this is an old post but I just wanted to say that I had a "code brown" as one of my nurse friends calls it. I totally knew it happened (as it was confirmed with much wincing on my husband's part and is something that he's still a bit traumatized by, get on with it man!) However, the nurse and midwives were nice enough to lie to me while I was like "Oh my God I just pooped didn't I?" between contractions. By the way, Gwendolyn is my favorite name for a girl.

Anonymous said...

i wouldn't worry about "code brown" too much. i'm due for my 3rd child this coming thursday,(already dilated a 2) and with my two previous deliveries, there was definately some code "B" going on. I had many people there to witness the babys' birth and no one said anything about it-During the birth or even since then for that matter. I believe most people actually consider it part of the natural process, especially since they tell you to push like your having a b.m.- what do you expect?:-)