From the yoga instructor at the studio who was saying goodbye to one of his clients after their class and assaulted my infant's delicate ears and my digestion all at once:
"You were just oozing love all over the room today."
Said oozer, gazed back glassily and oozed a bit more. But the yogi didn't know when to quit.
"Ten gallon buckets of love."
(you may now hurl)
From my Dh, who was trusted and left with our precious mobile infant who subsists only on breastmilk and cheerios and given instructions to give him soymilk in a bottle should he raise a ruckus and then asked by me, hours later, WHAT ON EARTH WAS IN HIS BOTTLE?:
"Yes that is the chocolate rice milk that was in the refrigerator that Supergirl drinks. I couldn't find the other stuff."
("But he loved it!")
From my dear daughter:
"I will only_A__ if YOU _B__!"
(feel free to fill in the ___s; A should have something to do with behavior, and B should have something to do with giving sugar)
From the steroid-pumped pimply CHP who pulled me over today for a seatbelt infraction when I had removed my arm from the shoulder strap momentarily to reach back to Supergirl and NOT SMACK HER for undoing her upper clip but attempt to do it for her and (realizing what a stupid idea that was) pull into the next parking lot to find him pulled in behind me and then when I attempted to remove my screaming infant from the back seat of the 100 degree car:
"You stay put right there, ma'am."