Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Things I never want to hear again:

From the yoga instructor at the studio who was saying goodbye to one of his clients after their class and assaulted my infant's delicate ears and my digestion all at once:
"You were just oozing love all over the room today."
Said oozer, gazed back glassily and oozed a bit more. But the yogi didn't know when to quit.
"Ten gallon buckets of love."
(you may now hurl)

From my Dh, who was trusted and left with our precious mobile infant who subsists only on breastmilk and cheerios and given instructions to give him soymilk in a bottle should he raise a ruckus and then asked by me, hours later, WHAT ON EARTH WAS IN HIS BOTTLE?:
"Yes that is the chocolate rice milk that was in the refrigerator that Supergirl drinks. I couldn't find the other stuff."
("But he loved it!")

From my dear daughter:
"I will only_A__ if YOU _B__!"
(feel free to fill in the ___s; A should have something to do with behavior, and B should have something to do with giving sugar)

From the steroid-pumped pimply CHP who pulled me over today for a seatbelt infraction when I had removed my arm from the shoulder strap momentarily to reach back to Supergirl and NOT SMACK HER for undoing her upper clip but attempt to do it for her and (realizing what a stupid idea that was) pull into the next parking lot to find him pulled in behind me and then when I attempted to remove my screaming infant from the back seat of the 100 degree car:
"You stay put right there, ma'am."


Auntie Dee-Dee said...

Definite hurl on the Yogi instructor! A bucket of love? Yikes!

Chocholate Rice milk by mistake? I'm glad that was the only mistake! Bubbles got a treat!!!

Not sure what to fill in on the blanks from Supergirl!

That SUCKS BIGTIME about the cop! He should by hung!

Hope your day is better than yesterday! You got a whole hand full yesterday!

Elizabeth said...

Doesn't it just figure that the one time you slip your arm out of the seatbelt there's a cop right behind you? I assume you got a ticket while Bubbles screamed? Nice, officer.

The chocolate rice milk didn't upset his stomach, did it?

gwendomama said...

Well, Elizabeth, I modeled an excellent example of belligerence for supergirl when i responded with 'why don't YOU stay put, since YOUR CAR is parked BEHIND MINE and I don't run so fast with two kids'
yes, i am serious. i really did.
i expect the same respect from him as he expects from me. if i don't get it, he doesn't either. i have lodged a complaint with his sergeant. ha!

Mary Tsao said...

I hate cops. Especially ones that harass my friends!

Hope he left you alone after you told him off.

Lin said...

What an idiot...to go after a mother of two young children. What a complete and total idiot not to realize immediately that this is a mother who doesn't drive around with her children standing on the front seat, heads hanging out the window. Dumb f.