Each year is different.
Last year I decided that Elijah's birthday was harder than the death anniversary.
So imagine my surprise when, this year, the birthday was immensely hard. And then yesterday and today sucked beyond belief. Beyond belief.
I have gone from being a crying puddle on the floor, to actual parenting moments and hugging my living children.
I am feeling very sick (which I am right now) and very emotional (also true).
This is very hard.