If you are 11 months old and you are sick, this is how it might go if you live at my house:
OHSHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS - THE BABY IS SICK, REALLY SICK - SERIOUSLY, COME FEEL HOW HOT HE IS. OHMYGOD THIS IS AWWWWFULLLLL!
Did you take his temperature? I think he does have a fever.
TAKE HIS TEMPERATURE, SURE WHY DON'T YOU? WHAT ARE YOU HELPLESS OR SOMETHING? OF COURSE HE HAS A FEVER - CAN'T YOU FEEL HOW FUCKING HOT HE IS?
Okay, where is the thermometer?
OHCHRIST THAT IS JUST LIKE YOU TO NOT EVEN KNOW WHERE THE THERMOMETER IS! IN THE BABY KIT IN THE BATHROOM. GET THE BABY MOTRIN WHILE YOU ARE AT IT!
I don't see either one.
#*%!#!*+#@*!!! I'LL GET THEM MYSELF!!
Calm down, it's just a bug. Like what Supergirl had.
DID YOU JUST TELL ME TO CALM DOWN? BECAUSE I THOUGHT I HEARD YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! IT IS NOT. JUST. A. BUG.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE HAS BRONCHITIS AND THIS IS REALLYREALLYRILLYRILLY BAD. B-A-D, BAD!
He is strong and healthy. He is not weak. He is not going to die from bronchitis.
OHMYGOD I KNOW HE IS STRONG BUT HOLYSHIT HE HAS BRONCHITIS AND IS THROWING UP BREASTMILK BECAUSE HE HAS SO MUCH FUCKING MUCUS! AND THIS CAN. NOT. BE. GOOD!!!
And the decision was made to send Supergirl off on a playdate, lest she witness more maniacal screaming by her emotionally unstable mama.
Another ten bucks for the therapy jar.
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Glowing in the Woods
3 comments:
I understand the worry. Hope Bubbles feels better soon. (And he WILL. He is a strong, healthy kid!)
Does the therapy money go to therapy, or fun things like trips and beer? ;-)
Poor little guy! and poor worried mama! totally understandable, though. i am a freak about high fevers, too, let alone bronchitis. he is a tough little guy and will be feeling better soon.
and yes, i think the therapy fund should be for vodka. or at least a massage. can you drink vodka at the spa?
and I know that deep down you understand why fevers are not a bad thing and that his little body is strong and is fighting the infection but ohmygod, it must be so tough.
xoxoxo
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