I was having a 'chat' with my innernet friend and one of the things I love about this particular innernet friend, is her dark humor and ability to climb into my brain from across the country. This time of year is, plainly, DARK for me. To cope with this season, I have often resorted to what some might call inappropriate humor.
So, I happen to mention to innernet friend (IFriend) that someone had suggested that I celebrate Elijah's birthday by making a cake and having a little birthday party.
Did that suggestion make me mad?, that someone had wanted to know.
No, I said, certainly not mad! I had definitely heard of people doing that....it just wasn't.....for me.
Of course I couldn't get it out of my head, and morbidly kept imagining just how that would take shape, this birthday party for my dead child. I suppressed some inappropriate giggles from some friends who I know are challenged by my annual bout with morbid humor....but of course I can't be kept down. I am a VIRGO.
So, I had to share with IFriend.
me: so, the idea was that i would have a party for him make a cake, get the children involved, have a birthday party.!!!!!IFriend: WHAT! MAD?me: oh no i am not madIFriend: a CAKE?me: i have heard some people do that
IFriend: I would freak out making a cakeme: just NOT FOR MEcan you imagine?IFriend: no, I honestly can'tme: MAKING A FUCKING CAKEIFriend: it's macabre - I mean, you know, not that there's anything WRONG with it, but...not something I would do
me: there's the issue of putting the baby inside the cake, or just what to write on it...i mean...okay....happy 6th birthday elijah....no that's not right....happy 1st birthday AGAIN elijah....no still not right.....ummmm....happy birthday in heaven my little angel?IFriend: pukes - personally I would just fall the fuck apart making the thing and hate the whole processme: has to maintain sense of humor right nowIFriend: yeah
me: a cake. yeah, i mean a lasagna maybe...but a CAKE? hehIFriend: like "we're HAPPY our kid is dead"me: i KNOWIFriend: "see look, a CAKE"me: HAPPPY DEAD BABY CAKE!!!IFriend: keels over... lordme: that isn't right either - you see the problem.IFriend: yes - I mean, what to WRITE on it alone is a blog entry...me: oooo - and we could SING TO HIS ASHES OF COURSE!IFriend: put a party hat on the urnIFriend: just take it outside and wait for the wind to blow the candle out...and be like "look kids, your brother made a wish!"me: that would rock, but....who blows out the candles?kids are gullible, they'd totally buy itme: HAR! they TOTALLY WOULD!
Indeed. Thank you, IFriend. You know who you are.
10 comments:
I'm absolutely the same way, dark stuff makes me cope by being 100% inappropriate. I had these two friends in college that would make your mama jokes back and forth, except they were very, very dirty depictions of sexual acts with each others' moms. they were best friends, it was just their thing. needless to say, one of the mothers passed away, but the jokes resumed after the guy that lost his mom asked him to continue. it doesn't seem right, but it's just what worked for them and who am i to judge?
Harrrrr... Glad I could give you a laugh ;)
"IFriend"
I totally get you on the "dark" sense of humor. I often feel like it's laugh or cry and I'd rather laugh. We took a lot of flack from family this Christmas for referring to our trip to Michigan as the "Death Drive" but we'd spent the past week being told that we would almost certainly not survive the trip and inclement weather, and humor was the only way we could deal with it.
I would be tempted to inscribe a "Dead Baby Cake" with: My baby died and all I got was this stupid cake (and an express trip to emotional hell)
hehehe....my baby died and all I got was this stupid cake....I love it.
SUKI, YOU WIN!
Whatever helps you through the darkest days my friend. XOXOXO
Truly humorous exchange, not a humorous subject.
I like the plant a tree thing better but my cousin does the Dead Baby Cake. It is macabre but to each his own.
Send hugs...not in a cake.
you're just a freak!
But that doesn't seem to bother me... April's here.
I laughed out loud at "look kids, your brother made a wish!"
Not sure who the friend is, but know I definitely need a drink with you two. Belated, but thinking of you. For this time of the year, and the rest of it.
i'm late to the party, if you'll forgive the horrible and unintentional pun, but i adore you. there aren't many people who could make me laugh at something so sad. xox
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