Friday, March 27, 2009

Dead Baby Cake

So, I have to write this. I am also going to remind a certain someone that she is not being made fun of here, rather, has given me some comedic relief material in a dry period.

I was having a 'chat' with my innernet friend and one of the things I love about this particular innernet friend, is her dark humor and ability to climb into my brain from across the country. This time of year is, plainly, DARK for me. To cope with this season, I have often resorted to what some might call inappropriate humor.

So, I happen to mention to innernet friend (IFriend) that someone had suggested that I celebrate Elijah's birthday by making a cake and having a little birthday party.
Did that suggestion make me mad?, that someone had wanted to know.
No, I said, certainly not mad! I had definitely heard of people doing just wasn't.....for me.
Of course I couldn't get it out of my head, and morbidly kept imagining just how that would take shape, this birthday party for my dead child. I suppressed some inappropriate giggles from some friends who I know are challenged by my annual bout with morbid humor....but of course I can't be kept down. I am a VIRGO.

So, I had to share with IFriend.

me: so, the idea was that i would have a party for him make a cake, get the children involved, have a birthday party.!!!!!
IFriend: WHAT! MAD?
me: oh no i am not mad
IFriend: a CAKE?
me: i have heard some people do that
IFriend: I would freak out making a cake
me: just NOT FOR ME
can you imagine?
IFriend: no, I honestly can't
IFriend: it's macabre - I mean, you know, not that there's anything WRONG with it, but...not something I would do
me: there's the issue of putting the baby inside the cake, or just what to write on it...
i mean...okay....happy 6th birthday that's not right....happy 1st birthday AGAIN still not right.....ummmm....happy birthday in heaven my little angel?
IFriend: pukes - personally I would just fall the fuck apart making the thing and hate the whole process
me: has to maintain sense of humor right now
IFriend: yeah
me: a cake. yeah, i mean a lasagna maybe...but a CAKE? heh
IFriend: like "we're HAPPY our kid is dead"
me: i KNOW
IFriend: "see look, a CAKE"
IFriend: keels over... lord
me: that isn't right either - you see the problem.
IFriend: yes - I mean, what to WRITE on it alone is a blog entry...
me: oooo - and we could SING TO HIS ASHES OF COURSE!
IFriend: put a party hat on the urn
me: that would rock, but....who blows out the candles?
IFriend: just take it outside and wait for the wind to blow the candle out...and be like "look kids, your brother made a wish!"
kids are gullible, they'd totally buy it

End of Conversation Advice:

IFriend: I think doing some kind of non-deadbaby-activity would be much better than making it a Deadbaby Day...too tempting to wallow that way.

Indeed. Thank you, IFriend. You know who you are.


furiousBall said...

I'm absolutely the same way, dark stuff makes me cope by being 100% inappropriate. I had these two friends in college that would make your mama jokes back and forth, except they were very, very dirty depictions of sexual acts with each others' moms. they were best friends, it was just their thing. needless to say, one of the mothers passed away, but the jokes resumed after the guy that lost his mom asked him to continue. it doesn't seem right, but it's just what worked for them and who am i to judge?

MFA Mama said...

Harrrrr... Glad I could give you a laugh ;)


Suki said...

I totally get you on the "dark" sense of humor. I often feel like it's laugh or cry and I'd rather laugh. We took a lot of flack from family this Christmas for referring to our trip to Michigan as the "Death Drive" but we'd spent the past week being told that we would almost certainly not survive the trip and inclement weather, and humor was the only way we could deal with it.

I would be tempted to inscribe a "Dead Baby Cake" with: My baby died and all I got was this stupid cake (and an express trip to emotional hell)

gwendomama said... baby died and all I got was this stupid cake....I love it.


Denise said...

Whatever helps you through the darkest days my friend. XOXOXO

Shea's Mom said...

Truly humorous exchange, not a humorous subject.

I like the plant a tree thing better but my cousin does the Dead Baby Cake. It is macabre but to each his own.

Send hugs...not in a cake.

Tricia said...

you're just a freak!

But that doesn't seem to bother me... April's here.

MB said...

I laughed out loud at "look kids, your brother made a wish!"

Tash said...

Not sure who the friend is, but know I definitely need a drink with you two. Belated, but thinking of you. For this time of the year, and the rest of it.

Melanie K said...

i'm late to the party, if you'll forgive the horrible and unintentional pun, but i adore you. there aren't many people who could make me laugh at something so sad. xox