My Three Year Old Thinks He's Howard Hughes

Bubbles is very independent. Forced by apraxia, and motivated by his marvelous personality, he will help himself before he asks for help, such as: bring a box of cereal to me if he wants some, and run back out of the room to get a bowl if he forgot one.

So far, we are a potty training FAIL. He refuses to use the potty, runs from the potty in horror, denies having pooped despite green vapors filling the room, refuses even gummy treats in exchange for a mere moment on the toilet.
Yesterday, he peed on his shoes. Well, through his pants (I told him he wasn't wearing a diaper!) and onto his shoes.
And I wiped off his shoes and put them in the sun to dry. Later, the shoes were nowhere to be found. Missing shoes.
"Where are your shoes?" We asked Bubbles.
"I gonna pay trains!" He would answer.
"Bubbles, go find your shoes!"
"I want a cookie!"

This went on all day. We would ask him for the shoes, and he would change the subject and look innocent. We searched the yard, the house, the garage, the bike baskets, everything we could think of, because Bubbles will only wear this pair of shoes or rainboots, and today was too hot for the latter.
No shoes.

Tonight, I put him in the bath and started cleaning up in the living room, adjacent to the bathroom. I heard him rummaging through his bath toy basket, and he began playing. Dh walked in the bathroom a moment later and found Bubbles with his leather shoes submerged, happily scrubbing away.
"Shoe bath!" He announced.


Oh my holy hell. The boy hid his shoes under the toys in the bath toy basket, waiting for a secret opportunity in which to wash them.


What does one make of a child who refuses to use a toilet, but is afraid that his parents will not properly wash the pee off of his shoes?