Wednesday, March 04, 2009

If You Still Think I Am Genteel In Any Way....Avert Your Eyes.

I can't help myself.

Sharing this story is a sure sign that I've lost all remaining shreds of decency.
But let's just stop pretending shall we?

California Unified Nether Temple Society

The BOS was extolling the virtues of the California Womens Health program, how great the doctors she saw were, blahblablah. Which reminded me that I am way overdue for a girlybits exam. Not to mention the girlybits have been causing me some insomnia-inducing, cancerfearing shuddering terrified thoughts concern. So, to share in her new love of stirrup visits for a mere $15, the BOS began her campaign to get me to the cooter doc.

"Dude. They give you a card. A card that you can use just for your cooter! A cooter card!"
"Oooh they swipe it?"
"They surely do!"
"Oh! So that would make it like a credit cunt?"

So forgive me, dear Marisol, the very nice receptionist from the Womens Health Center, for giggling during our phone conversation when you told me today that I qualified for 'the card'. And that it would cover all my reproductive organ goodies. Because I really was working hard to suppress the nervous gutwrenching fears question that was begging to be answered: And where are you going to swipe that card?

I warned you.


MFA Mama said...

Credit cunt. Credit cunt. CREDIT CUNT!

Doesn't get any less funny no matter HOW many times you say it!

maybaby said...

Er. In the spirit of this post...I've given you an award, the Honest Scrap award.

I've been reading here for a while and yhour posts are beautifully written and utterly honest.

Sophie said...

Everytime I think of your post (credit cunt!!!) I just snigger and raise my eyebrows. You are shocking!!! but oh so hilarious.

furiousBall said...


what kind of reward miles do you acrue on your cooter card?

Vicus Scurra said...

How would you feel if the machine rejected your card?

Lynnbug said...

OMG! LMAO! That is hysterical!

mamadaisy said...

HA! frequent coochie coupons!

Denise said...

Where will they swipe it at? The crack of your ass? Hahahahah

Deb on the Rocks said...

You? Are the best.

Cindy said...

God, I love that BOS.