Me: Did you open that package from Amazon?
Dh: No. What package?
Me: The one right here which is opened. This one.
Dh: What is it?
Me: This book for Supergirl.
Me: Well, when I was in first grade, Trina Brown told me that to have a baby, the dad has to pee inside the mom.
Dh: Trina Brown was a precocious, misinformed slut.
Me: Well, I don't want Supergirl to think that is true.
Dh: You seem to have come around. How did you figure it out?
Me: I came home and asked my mom if it was true. She gave me a book and we read it together.
Me: Look, just because your parents were from the dark ages doesn't mean that's the right way to do it. She asked about sex.
Dh: SHE ASKED ABOUT SEX? OH MY GOD WHEN???
Me: Well, not you. I don't think she'd ask you. Just last week. So I ordered the book.
Dh(thumbing through book): But there are just so many pictures in this book. But they are all so hairy in this book.
Me: Look, that's because it is from 1977. Do you want Supergirl to think she has to have a Brazilian?
Dh: OH MY GOD SHUT UP!! DON'T SAY THAT!!! OH MY GOD I CANNOT THINK ABOUT THAT!!!
Me: Well, get over it. Here look at this. Just read the book.
Dh: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I AM TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE!!!!
(I grab the book from him and see what page put him over the edge.)
(Sorry honey, it's Nablopomo, when anything you say, can and will be used for blogging.)