Wish Us The Good Luck, Mateys

Yesterday I took Bubbles to the guru, after keeping him home from preschool so that he would have the energy for his one hour of speech therapy. He had been sick all week, but was well enough on Thursday to get back into action; residual cough like his sister. He had missed his first two appointments of the week, and when we showed up yesterday, he was still pissed off at being woken up from his nap. He cried, "NoNONONONONO!" and I asked him to please quiet down as we entered the office.
We were met on the stairs by the guru. "He's too sick to be here!" she said.
I was embarrassed- did she really think I would bring a sick kid? Apparently, she did.
"He's all flushed from his nap - he's just not himself yet and doesn't want to be here."
"No. He's too sick. You need to take him home."
We had some awkward and quick mumblings about scheduling for next week and off we went. To drive the 45 minutes back home.
When I got back in the car, after Bubbles was buckled in, I felt the heat crawl up my face, the chin start to quiver....and I lost it. The floodgates opened and I just sobbed, saying things to nobody in particular like 'OHMYGAWD he totally SNOWED HER!' and 'WAHHHH WAHHHH - I miss the other therapist - the ones who GOT HIM TO TALK' and a few other choice words that we may hear popping up in someone's increasing vocabulary soon but let's hope not.

After this, I went to Costco, and he ran around like a maniac; totally fine and full of energy, and completely stoked that he got out of working.

Seriously. I am losing my peaceful and trusting nature through this process.

LOSING IT.

Bubbles was progressing every single week, if not day, for the last few months under the instruction of his ABA speech therapist. He was in a huge developmental leap - one which we were afraid would be affected by a drastic change in therapists and approaches. The school district, convinced that Bubbles would transition just fine (based on nothing), refused to pay for any ABA therapy at all, stating that his issue was solely speech and language based, being apraxia, and they would not pay for a therapist who was not a licensed SLP. So, we paid for two weeks' transition time, and allowed him one session/week during (what was supposed to be) his first two weeks with the new SLP (formerly and possibly still referred to as guru; stay tuned) but then he got sick and missed all of this week. Even yesterday, when he was well.
During this time he has continued to talk and increase his communication skills, but his language has not improved. He has not progressed at the rate we were seeing last month. He has started to tantrum again when asked to do something he resists, hit people, and just yesterday he used his newly discovered vocabulary to yell back at Daddy (who had just asked him to come get his diaper changed), "I GONNA KICK YOU!"
Holyhellsangels people!
Is this what BOYS SAY?
I say hell no you are NOT gonna even say that you are gonna kick me!

So....did I mention that I am a bit afraid right now?
Today is Bubbles' last day with Amazing Teacher S (which can stand for Super), and I am having a very hard time with this.
I knew this would be harder on me than Bubbles, because he does not understand that he won't see her again.

But I thought - I hoped - that, by this point, we would be making progress comfortably with the guru.

I had hoped that taking him to Amazing Teacher S this last time would not feel like making him walk the plank.

I am totally jumping off with him.