And to those of you who think I am writing/publishing this to perpetuate the 'unfortunate drama', I say to you this: It is unfortunate that an opinion is called 'drama'. The fact that it is being called 'drama', I find amusing.
Backstory: Night before keynote closing speech at Blogher '08, Jenny approached Heather at a party and apologized if her post had offended Heather in any way. It was apparently brushed off, not with an 'it's okay', but with an understanding of an apology offered.
Jenny apologized to Heather for comparing her to a mythical creature, like a Hobbit or Santa Claus, and she apologized. I still don't understand the offense in Jenny's analogy to the elusive dooce, but it was nice of her to offer an apology for this slight remark to someone who has called her own nephews devil monsters, and accused the mormon church of being full of pedophiles.
At the closing keynote, Heather was asked (by the interviewer) about receiving hate mail. She mentioned that she occasionally posts some of it so that people can see what she has been through. Someone was so angry with her for 'exposing' her daughter's life that she said she wished she could throw hydrochloric acid on Heather, to expose her to the world. Pretty damn harsh. She also mentioned she has received doggy death threats. Then she mentioned that someone, someone who was perhaps even in this room, had written a post in which she was compared to a mythical hobbit.
Right after the death threats. Hobbit. Really.
Well, that someone was in the room, and she caught the context herself and wasn't particularly thrilled about her company.
Someone asked me to translate the video, so here is the closest approximation:
[before camera was turned on:] "yeah I said you were like an imaginary hobbit, but I said you were like a fuckin awesome imaginary
I also said you were like jesus and santa claus...
and I bought your fuckin book!!
...and then we went to the party together and I was like... I apologized
and I... I really love you
and you said that thing..
and then everybody at the party was like
you fucking said that??
and I was like
NO!! and then half the people were like
IT WAS GOOD ...and I was all
I'm not sure what I WROTE!
...and I might have been drunk...
but I am now..
but I didn't think hobbit was bad!"
Heather responded with a very uncomfortable look. And nothing more. End.
I wasn't expecting to video anything, but grabbed my camera when I saw that Jenny wasn't going to slink away as I would have done, had that person called me out to humiliate me in that crowd.
Oh yes - another interesting thing happened at our table, versions of which I later heard, which I thought worthy of the Onion.
Perhaps 8-10 minutes after the awkward exchange, a woman of incredible patience, objectivity, and compassion stood up at our table and asked for the mic. She mentioned that there felt like a lot of tension in the room, and did Heather wish to respond? Heather asked if 'That Person' was still in the room, and a number of people replied that no, Jenny was not.
Heather responded to Tricia (with the mic) that she would not respond if 'The Person' was no longer in the room. Here, she was applauded for her ethics.
After the keynote closing,
Later that evening I heard so many arguments about the 'drama'. For the record, I also heard a good many conversations about the fabulous panels and all-around Blogher experience.
But most of the snippets I overheard (and then broke up or started fights about) were of the 'can you believe she stood up in a room of 800 people and shrieked at Heather all drunk like that?!' variety. Hey - not drunk. Seriously. I happen to know. And why shouldn't she stand up after being lumped in with death threats? Was that not expected by the accusor?
My other favorite snarkfest was the one that claimed 'that beyotch - meow - who stood up and stirred up the shit by asking Heather talk about it more after the dust had settled!!'
OMG that was the funniest thing of all, because guess what? SHE WAS MY ROOMMATE and they could not have been more wrong. Ever.
All weekend I would come steaming into the room talking excitedly about the fun awesome people I met or re-connected with, and then spewing about the bitch snubbers and rib-elbowers (yes, it happens) I had had contact with. And Tricia, without fail, would have another take on it. (Okay, maybe not the time someone handed my card back to me, because that was the ultimate and obvious snub, but every other situation without fail).
See, she is, by nature, compassionate, objective, and lovely.
I am, by contrast, cynical, insecure, and pissy.
So when she asked Heather to respond to Jenny, it was because she saw Jenny in pain, as I did. But she also saw what she believed to be emotional pain in Heather's expression, and that's why she asked her to respond. Not because she was trying to stir up any shit, or even because she felt sorry for Jenny. Just because clearing the air is what a mother of eight children does best; and because who the fuck has time for any more dramantics when you are the mother of eight children?
So (::sigh:: ::phew::) that is it about that.
And now on to the rest of Blogher and the pics of ass pinchers and party queens.
**EDITED: *THAT PART DID NOT HAPPEN - Apparently there was NO book signing AT ALL and NO private suite. There was a lobby in which an apology was delivered and then kind of, somewhat accepted. There was a misunderstanding in which Heather thought Jenny was drunk (because Jenny said she was drunk) and reasonably did not want to respond to someone who was all drunky. But Jenny was actually not drunk, she just likes to say she is drunk when she is uncomfortable and rambly and afraid she said the wrong thing. There was some other stuff but I wasn't there for that so I will shut up now and not step any deeper into this pile.