Monday, July 07, 2008

All of Legoland Does Not Suck

So, even though the 'Safety Supervisor' at Legoland is a passive aggressive good cop/bad cop type, who does her mediocre best and left me with nothing but the knowledge of what 'unresolved' tastes like, I will still share with you the good parts of Legoland.

My point here is, if you spent $60 for a full priced admission ticket, and you missed my warnings about the incongruous and ill-fated water park within Legoland, (and also ignored Furiousball's advice to carry a dart gun) and may have had a chance encounter with a misguided power-hungry sixteen year old whom you did NOT even smack around, and this encounter leaves you feeling well...a bit ripped off...DO NOT DESPAIR! Even YOU can still have a good time at Legoland if you can just let that incident go.

Really, you can! So just unclench those fists, let the bank statements wash over you, and remember the good...just the good....only the good....

For instance, when we got to the entrance, there was this freaky Lego family greeting us:

Yes, they are made out of Legos. The car is real.

AHA! I said, as we walked through the gates, "I get it! Everything is made from Legos!" (umm, yes, sharp as a tack am I)

Like this elephant, made from exactly 425,000 910,000 725,678 a hell of a lot of legos.

To be perfectly honest, the main attraction to Legoland for us was one thing: The height restrictions on rides. My children are of the miniature variety (though Bubbles' latest sprout may challenge this theory), and Supergirl has routinely been turned away from rides on which a tall four year old is allowed (the most glaring memory being a waterslide at a hotel in Hawaii which allowed tall toddlers who met the height requirement on with arm floaties because they could not swim, while my daughter who was six and could swim like a fish, was not allowed on because she was not tall enough). We had heard (and researched) the height restrictions were more geared toward younger children, thus assuring a rare adventure for Supergirl in an amusement park. We were happy to discover that Bubbles had suddenly sprouted into a tallish two year old; he grazed the 36 inch bar with the top of his poofy hair and was allowed on many more rides than we thought he would be. Like the sky cruiser:

Which may not look like that big of a deal, but the track was really high. Like - up in the sky omg.

While we held the place in line for the sky cruiser, Daddy took Supergirl up the Kid-Power of Tower as we watched...

The Technik Test Track roller coaster was a thrill for Supergirl, who has been waiting for three years to get on a fast roller coaster. She loved it!

So did Mama, who showed her how it's done properly:


Miniland wasn't very seat-gripping thrilling, but it was fabulously colorful eye candy:

And afforded many educational opportunities for colorful discussion, such as this New Orleans jazz funeral scene...

...and the explanation why graveyards are above-ground in New Orleans...

Our favorite ride was the coastersaurus, which I don't have a picture of because we all got to ride it together, and this is probably why it was our favorite. It was Bubbles' first coaster (I believe in breaking them in young) ride, and watching our kids shriek with joy down those fast hills was priceless. We are definitely keeping them.

Mama's favorite ride was the Robotic Arm of Whiplash. I think they call it something else at Legoland like a Knight's Tournament, but clearly they have mis-named it. While we were waiting in line, Supergirl bailed on me, the little chicken. This turned out to be an excellent choice on her part, because if she was riding with me we could only have gone to level one. OUT OF FIVE.
So when this random dad hopped on the ride with me, I challenged him to take it to eleven. Okay, it only went to five, but he accepted the challenge, and off we went.
He is the one screaming like a girl. Even if it sounds like me, I swear I didn't scream once while I was peeing myself.


furiousBall said...

having sex with me is a lot like that rollercoaster. the line is long and you might feel sick at the end of it.

gwendomama said...

dude. which is why i always carry a dart gun with me when i have sex.