Thursday, July 31, 2008

Use Appropriate Language When Talking To Inanimate Objects

Seattle is one rainy assed place. Oh, you already knew that? Sorry to bore you.

The Boss of Seattle is getting ready to move. Sadly, she will no longer be the Boss of Seattle, so someone else can try (just go ahead and try!) to take her place. (SJ?)

But she is moving on; moving from the rainforest back to the golden rolling hills of California. So basically, I win what Seattle loses. She is moving to another city which starts with 'S', so she will still be the BOS. More to reveal on that later.


Her youngest son, Little Frankie (LF) is getting pissed off with all the moving activities. Mom's busy packing. Dad is busy staying busy. The older brothers are busy eeking out the last bit of play time with their best friends. And LF is bored. B. O. R. E. D.=BORED!


Mom, can I watch a movie?


No, you just watched a movie.


Mom, can I go ___?


No.


Mom, can I watch a movie?


No.


Mom, can I watch a movie?


No!


Mom, can I watch a video?


NO!


Mom, can I watch something on TV?


WE DON'T HAVE TV!!!


Mom, can I watch -


NO, NO, and ummmNO! YOU may NOT watch anything. You may go entertain yourself with our chickens in the rainy muddy yard. You may go dig a hole to a new pipeline. You may go find a sharp stick. You may leave me alone. You may stop talking to me right now!

Subdued and speechless for the moment, and at the very least smart enough to not engage his mother in further conversation, Little Frankie trudges out of the room to find someone something else to talk to.

YOU!

He has found his target and moves in.

YOU! I hate you! You are BORING!

Finally! Thinks the BOS...finally he has found something to do!!

YOU! You are a BABY BUTT SNIFFER!

She finds him in the next room, insulting:




Umm....are you worried? I asked her, when she told me the details of the conversation Little Frankie had with the lamp.

Naaawwww, said my best friend; mother of three boys.

It's not like he called the lamp a little cocksucker. I don't see anything wrong with 'baby butt sniffer'.

8 comments:

Denise said...

hahahahh

squid said...

All parents and caretakers are baby butt sniffers. It is a fact.

Heather said...

Too funny. Baby Brady and I (13 months old) just finished a titillating game of "EWWWWW, that butt's stinky!!!!!" - i.e. me sniffing said baby's butt and baby giggling hysterically offering MORE butt to sniff.

dadamama said...

Boys are training to be men. At least he was expressing himself.

I have three boys, too. Most days, it's like living on another planet. A really funny planet entirely populated by baby butt sniffers.

It will be nice to have your friend back. She sounds like a keeper. :)

furiousBall said...

my extension cord's name is Chickenfucker

capello said...

baby butt sniffer is pretty mellow. and totally awesome.

Anonymous said...

That was so cute, talking to a lamp! I love boys.

Finding Time 2 Hook said...

I am so glad that I am not alone, my three boys do stuff like that all the time...rofl...