But then I realized that I don't really, because if I get shoes that make my ass look great (lordy knows I care more that my ass should look great in front of 1000 women than 100 men), then I will fall and bruise myself, thus compromising the decision for ass.
When did a weekend away from the kids (and dude) become so complicated? Wouldn't it be easier to stay home in my pajamas/summer tank top and shorts/cause I said they are/ and scrape fruit leather off the carpet?
The answer is: HELL YES IT WOULD BUT ARE THOSE POOPING FRUIT LEATHER SMOOSHERS GOING TO FEED YOU YAHOOTINIS FOR YOUR TROUBLE?? NO THEY ARE NOT.