Thursday, August 21, 2008

This Story is NOT About Unicorns or Rainbows


Supergirl's friend got a duckling for her birthday. It is, as you might imagine, incredibly cute.
(peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep)

Her mom said something about having ducklings as a child, but, she said darkly, "It didn't end well."
I nodded, remembering too well a friend's toddler accidentally crushing their baby bunny years ago.
Being a sucker for predictable endings coupled with a just a smidge of horror, I pressed her further.
"Didn't end well?" I raised my eyebrows and dropped my chin, so I was essentially egging her to go on with my skepticism.
"Well....it started at the Library. Our mother told us we could go play around the fountain outside the library while she checked out books. We found a little duckling and started playing with it and when my mom came out we told her we wanted to take it home. Well, we of course were not allowed to bring it home so we put it back in the fountain with it's mother...and then..."
She stopped.
"And THEN?" I prodded her.
"Well...then we watched while the mother pecked it to death and drowned it because we had touched it."
"OH MY GOD THAT IS AWFUL!"
"Well," she went on, "there is more."
I am one sick little puppy because I said, "Oh really? More?" like she was offering me truffles.

"My mother felt so bad about it that soon after, she got us each a baby duckling. But my sister was only two and a half...and...it didn't end well."
"Oh god don't make me beg for the ending," I begged.

"Well....the duckling pecked her on the chin....and she...well...she...just reacted...she...."

"SHE SQUEEZED IT TO DEATH?"

"Umm, no. Not exactly."

She looked around to make sure the little girls were not listening, and lowered her voice.








"She just bit it's head off."

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh holy I-don't-know-what!!! I think I might be traumatized.

Except I totally would've begged for the ending, too, so...

midlife mommy said...

Um, thanks for sharing?

Headless Mom said...

Eeew. You had to ask, didn't you?

sarafoop said...

I just poked out my mind's eye.

Blaize said...

Jesus Christ! I shouldn't have read that just before bed.

Eliza said...

BWAHAHAHAAA...I am sick and wrong in the head but...WOW! That's almost as bad as the time my nursery school class incubated three eggs in our room. One did not hatch. Of the two that hatched, one chick was sickly and died, and we gave it a state funeral naturally. The third did fine and got to be too big to keep in the incubator in the classroom anymore. My mother offered to let it live at our place, since we had two old laying hens in the backyard that provided our family with wonderful fresh brown eggs. We lived walking-distance from the school. So the WHOLE CLASS walked, holding the "friendship rope," an singing, with our teacher carrying the chick in a canary cage at the head of the parade, to watch the chick be released into its happy new home.

And then our chickens pecked it to death and cannibalized it in front of the entire class. Oh, the therapy Sally and Henny Penny probably necessitated. The HORROR.

You're welcome :)

furiousBall said...

that's a duck

RuthWells said...

Gah!

jenijen said...

You told me this over the phone last night, but I still think it's a great read. Which, frankly, makes me worry about myself.

Podcast? Will you podcast this story? Maybe interview the now-grown sister?

heh

Hey You said...

I LOL and woke up my baby from his much needed nap. Stupid duck.

I still love Gwendomama though.

Cindy said...

AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! And I was disturbed when Sophie announced one day that she "ate a snail's butt." This is so much worse. So much.

I'm with you though: Once someone gets going on a story like this, you've just got to know how it ends.

gwendomama said...

HAHAhaha!
And I thought all I had to worry about was that maybe my little boy would pull the legs off of spiders and ohmy!

slackermommy said...

Get out! I can feel the hairs in my mouth just thinking about it.

Lin said...

I wish I hadn't belly-laughed when I read that! It almost puts me in the same category as the biter!

Anonymous said...

I immediately started hearing Black Sabbath in my head ~Geener