- My fingers were all broken or otherwise rendered unable to type.
- One or more of my children has had a concussion or worse and I am unable to type (because they are plastered on top of me like jellyfish whenever any little thing goes wrong).
- I am in Hawaii and too blissed out to tell you all about my trip. (Have you been to Hawaii? It can happen.)
- Some things are too sad, too precarious, or too damn sensitive to write about here.
- And that really pisses me off.
Fact: Only two of the above five statements are currently true.