Yes, I have plenty to say about roller coasters.
Yes, I am thankful for some people and stuff.
And yes, I was up all night thinking about that little satanic bottom-feeder, Marla.
She won't shut up.
She continues to spew, even after the phone call from the BOS, and she called Nina back to clarify how right she was.
"You didn't know her then!" she defended her accusations repeatedly.
She now has a friend of hers calling Nina to defend her (copycat).
I have tried to let this go. I know that she is C*R*A*Z*Y and that most people will not believe her. But this is not like someone accusing me of flirting with someone's husband, this is not like accusing me of stealing a car:
That bitch is calling me a baby killer.
I am having a hard time letting that one go.
I have many reactions to this, some of them petty.
Petty reaction#1: I want to call her and point out that if she had bothered to reciprocate one-tenth of the favors I had offered her, if she had just one time helped us out when we took Elijah for testing (at Useless Childrens Hospital) or therapy, she would have had a glimpse into reality and seen what was going on for my child. She never could have fabricated or spread this insanity. For the past five years.
Petty reaction#2: Our friendship was over when I could no longer help her. When I was pregnant with Elijah while mothering a one year old, I was not available to help her. She did not know me then. How dare she claim that she was my friend.
Petty reaction #3: This woman claims to be a Christian, and a virtuous one at that. Hmmm.
Petty reaction #4: I hate her. HATE. HER.
Petty reaction #5: is a novel. I will spare you.
Non-petty reaction:
This needs to stop.
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18 comments:
I've been thinking maybe YOU should call Marla and explain how mistaken she's been all this time. BOS calling didn't put a stop to it, obviously, and now more and more people are getting pulled into it (e.g., the friend who's now calling folks to defend her). Is it possible in any real universe that you calling her; telling her the ACTUAL story of what happened to you, Elijah, and your family; what the consequences of her bullshit gossiping have been; and what you'd like to have happen next might make her rethink how she's interpreted all of these events? I know you H-A-T-E her, but it might have more power coming from you than other people. Just a thought...
Either way, she's an unbelievable b-word and we're all happy to kick her ass for you.
Anon:
Agreed.
It will happen. I have just learned enough about myself to acknowledge boundaries - mine - and wait until danger - for her - has passed.
Hmm. Well, my brother is an Army Ranger. He knows how to make things happen quickly and silently. Purely as an "I bet you didn't know that!" aside.
Anyone who would call anyone else a baby killer in public is certifiable. As is anyone who would take her seriously.
But, if you need to do *something,* perhaps you could set up a series of signs like the lovely ones your neighbors posted after the fire, clarifying your position?
My suggestion would be to call her and simply say:
Marla, it sounds like we need to talk.
Peroid.
Let her do the talking. Don't try to explain anything. She won't hear it anyway. When she's done, Finish with, "I don't want to hear another word about this ever again."
Hang up the phone and don't look back.
Easy for me to say. You're handling this with such grace and dignity. It's ok to hate her. Really. Either that, or pity her.
I'd call a lawyer before she calls DCF.
Don't go to war. Inside she is suffering. Have compassion for her suffering. Let it all go. Only you know the truth. Enjoy the good memories you have in your heart about your Elijah. Don't let her take you back, tint your memories. You are wasting your time. You will be respected in the community if you chose to ignore, forgive and move on.
Good luck
Gwendo, I'd say you need to arrange a meeting (or ambush her.. haha) and call her out on alllllllll her crap. Because these aren't memories of fights past, she's still acting like a little shit.
Go for it. With your teeth bared.
Or, you could take Gretchen's advice. Less likelyhood of bloodspill.
I'm telling you. Just give me her address and I'll have a flaming bag of dog shit and possibly a cherry-syrup soaked tampon for her. =P
It doesn't sound petty to me - it sounds awful. I think you should write a letter, though, because if you talk face-to-face she's just going to be defensive and won't hear you. A letter lets her absorb it bit by bit.
I think she needs to know how much she hurt you in order for you to let it go.
What's her point of continuing? Why is she trying to discredit you- accuse you?? Thee has to be some underlying reason- besides mad cow disease.
So I read about this yesterday (sans this post) as I was catching up on your blog, and it sat heavy on my mind. My immediate reaction was "what a piece of shit". Like duh. But something else was bothering me, something I couldn't verbalize right away. It hit me in the car, as I was sitting merrily in traffic. So here is my insight. Enjoy.
What I think is particularly atrocious about Marla is that the deep dark reason she is doing this is to prove to herself that you deserved it. Or, the flip side, that she doesn't. That her children will be happy and healthy because she is a good person TM. She is a cowardly shit. She can't live in a world where babies die for no good reason, where people suffer because they got hit with shit luck despite doing everything humanly possible to deal with it. So she is making shit up. Doesn't help with what to do about her, of course. But does make me want to kick her ass, a lot.
Julia- I think that is very astute and probably true. Because it's just not FAIR to lose a baby and if it can happen to Elijah then it could happen to anyone. And she's a nasty, insecure, scaredy-cat little shit who can't deal with her own emotions about it so she's making herself feel better by saying that SHE'S such a good person/mom that it could never happen to HER.
She's still a cunt, though.
Julia
This is probably so accurate; I have thought this myself, and even asked Marla (there is so much more unsaid here) after she told me the miscarriage was my fault, if she thought that her children were alive and 'typical' because of something she had done.
She shrugged and said, "I'm just sayin..." - remember this is when I kicked her out of my yard...
And let me tell you, 'typical' is relative when your teenager is arrested at age 14 for public drunkenness.
I have been reading all of these comments and I just have to say.... Regardless of the fucking bitches reasons it is not right. You do not talk shit about a so called friend, calling them a baby killer. You just dont. She lacks boundries and fucking common decency. She has hit you were you live so to speak, where you are most vulnerable. I wan't to come to sc and kick aer ass. This does has to stop.I however don't think it will until you put her in her place.
Denise
Grow up lady! That's all I can say. Stop acting like a little girl. Get a life and stop your stupid gossiping.
What kind of nutjob thinks that someone--anyone--who has lost a child needs more pain in their life? She is hateful. Can I have her number?
Plenty of time to talk roller coasters later, dear.
write her a letter. and follow it up with a phone call. you are an awesome writer. i think you can get your point across with your words on paper. anyone that implements you as a "baby killer" needs dealt with - probably in an ass-kicckin' kind of way. but i'm from a small town, and the longer this drags on, the more of a thrill she's getting out of it. this woman is seeking controversy and attention. i would guilt trip the shit out of her - cause she needs to know that dragging you through the death of a child this way is the most inhumane thing someone can do. on that note, STOP LETTING HER DO THIS TO YOU! you know the truth in your heart and so does your family, and at the end of the day - that's all that really matters. good luck to you and keep writing. i enjoy your blog, and your stories about Bubbles since I have a child with apraxia too. i'm glad somebody didn't get snowed in the IEP meeting like I did. you go girl!
This Mona is clearly mentally ill. Does she read this blog? If so....Mona, you clearly have a serious mental illness if you find pleasure in spreading false rumors about someone. Seek help before someone either sues your pathetic ass or smashes your big mouth in. Quite frankly I hope BOTH happens to you at some point you scum.
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