Tuesday, November 27, 2007

You meet the nicest people on vacation...

My friend's friends were lucky enough to go on a family vacation to Fiji. Her parents apparently thought it would be a good idea to take all of the extended family on the trip of a lifetime, and booked an exclusive island resort. One of the intimate variety; they shared the island with only six or seven other families. So one might say that the guests got to know each other quite well during their one or two week stay.
The friends (I'll call them Ann and her family) were quite shocked to find that they (including their young sons) were sharing the resort with a very well-endowed porn star (is that redundant?) and her family. I promised not to use any real full names here, so I shall have to come up with a suitable and synonymous pseudonym...err...Lori Delight.
It seems that Lori Delight's sad plight was overheard in lunch conversation: The poor woman has to go out of the US just for a simple breast augmentation, simply because US plastic surgeons will not 'augment' any breast (or pair of breasts) larger than a doubleG. (this blog is full of valuable information, eh?) (because I am guessing you did not know that before...)
According to a very reliable source, it also seems that if one's six year old son sees Lori Delight romping down the beach in an ineffectual bikini, he will ask his mother what is wrong with that woman? And she will scarcely be able to hide the look of alarm on her own face as she stammers out an answer.
I take it to believe that, in spite of the daily close relations with strangers, there was only one remarkable but unfortunate coincidence involving: a scuba boat, a very naked Lori Delight, and Ann's very germophobic sister. Everything else went smoothly, and a fun time was had by all. (I am pretty sure I could make some of my own fun in Fiji, but I'm just sayin'...)
And they all went home to California and everything was as it was before.











Until Ann's father told Ann's mother that the 40 year marriage was just not working out anymore. And he was sorry, but he was leaving her. And thus, Ann's parents were divorcing.

And, before he set out on His Life Alone And Without Her, he was going to visit...Lori Delight and her husband for a week or so.

Because, he said,
"They are such nice people."

8 comments:

nailgirl said...

Yeah once you get a look at a set of head lights that big I guess everything else pales in comparison. Smirk! Did she scream "you might want to back up, I"m lettin the girls out"? each time she went topless lol.

chris said...

I don't even know what to say.

Seriously.

Tricia said...

OMG...

Cindy said...

You are making that shit up. Right??? God, you probably aren't.

GraceD said...

Wow. Wow. Wow.

Indeed, I have learned much from your estimable blog, G2. From cupcakes to G cups, you cover the Zeitgeist, o awesome one.

Always your fan and slave 4 life,
G1

mamadaisy said...

i can't imagine the creepy google hits you are going to get from this post...

Lin said...

Jesus Christ on a bicycle. My husband and I have been married 39 years (last week). I'm going to keep him away from small Fijian islands and Double G gals (tough since we live in Southern California...not that far from the Valley...scene of many XXX-rated shoots).

I can't imagine what your friend and her family are going through.

Ack.

harvestmoon said...

You're going to make me Google "Lori Delight"... :)