Remember the day we met? You were looking a bit 'deer in the headlights' and I was about as alert as cooked spaghetti, but then our eyes met and the haze cleared at once as we fell in love. Once I provided you with some instant gratification in the form of breast, you quickly forgave me for making you wait an extra hour while I slept, to make your entrance. Shhh- don't tell Supergirl, but the real reason I stayed in the hospital that extra night? I wanted you all to myself. I wanted to get to know you in private. And now? Now I can' t remember very well what life was like before you joined us.
You are just what our family needed - and how clever of you to know that, since we didn't even know ourselves! You knew that my arms ached for someone to hold; you made sure that I didn't ever have to put you down for the first six months! You knew how important it was for me to be able to feed you, and you have made those breasts your best friends! You knew that our family had lived through too much sadness; you came beaming that big drooly grin of yours! You knew that Supergirl needed to feel like a sister again - bossy, admired, needed; you take care of all of that and throw in a little hair-pulling as well! You knew that there was not one milestone of yours we would ever take for granted, and you expertly expect the proper amount of cheering when one is achieved, encouraging us with your own hearty, "YAY!"
You are so strong, so fun, so excited for life, so perfect.
I love how, when we nurse in bed together, you tuck your body in and I curl around you, and we are interlocked like an Escher print. I love how you crane your big melon around to see me if I am not looking directly at you when you are in my arms. I love how you give me a hug whenever I ask you, "hug?". I love how, when you gleefully reach for your freshly undiapered penis, you watch me until I deliver the usual exclamation, "Access!" and then you crack up. Your pediatrician tells me she has heard many pseudonyms for those parts, but claims that never before has she heard it labeled 'access'.
I love how you have managed to crack your sister up for at least seven months now and you don't even know any knock-knock jokes. I love how you announce yourself when you are about to do something dangerous or forbidden - like climb up the stairs without a spotter, or eat aluminum foil or cat food.
I love how you say ,"ummmmmmmmm" when you taste something yummy, even our strange furry cat, who, although she does not appear to like you very much, oddly lets you taste her.
I am excited to see you grow, and afraid to say it, much in the way I was afraid to expect a live, healthy baby before you were born. But I know in my heart that you are a strong child, physically, emotionally, and willfully, and I know that you will grow, you will flourish, you won't leave us too soon. Just keep in mind that my brain and my heart are not always in agreement, and your old mama will always worry. That is my weakness, not yours.
I know many will disbelieve, but you already mimic imaginative (and anthropomorphic) play. I know you watch your sister play with the animals and dolls. She is capable in fact, of giving voice, character, conflict, and conflict resolution to almost any inamimate object.
But the way that you, after not even a year on this earth, can take a wooden cow in one hand and 'a guy' in the other and make them have a conversation?
Well, that is just awe-inspiring. And probably an off-Broadway play in the making. What do I know about theatre?
The cow says, "Mraaaoowr! Eeaargh! arraapklaraarrrr! GARRRRRRRRR!" and 'the guy' responds to the cow while shaking violently; "Eeeeee. teee, ee-ee-eep-ee! Eeedgh."
Someone would have to be made of stone to not find that completely:
C) or Both
Speaking of your incredible talents, you are quite the musician. You play a keyboard without pounding, you strum a guitar without crashing it over - as you have for months now, because you like to hear what you are playing. You have gotten over your impulse for tasting drumsticks, and consequently have developed the amazing skill (for any 12 month old human I have ever met) of drumming with both hands, both holding drumsticks. This is not as easy as it sounds when balance itself presents its own challenges! You have alway been musically inspired, musically responsive. But you are so into creating music now that I find myself wiping the drool off my chin in amazement - and I am a teacher of musical babies!
Really, you are the most amazing child. Thank you for choosing our family.
I love you.